you were never afraid
and if you were, you never let it show
because you knew I was terrified
enough for the both of us
I always knew I had the
capacity to be someone who
doesn't know how to deal with
true love without feeling like
all my blood is being drained from my body
and I warned you
but you stayed
when you tried to love my dark parts
I thought you would take away everything I am
because darkness was all that I had ever met
now I understand I wouldn't mind
if you took my whole life in your hands
I'll love you even when it consumes you
you said
and for a moment I felt safe
I knew you would never leave me
I'm leaving
I said
but you couldn't see it wasn't me
I always told you it would happen
I told you to not let me go
no matter how much I begged you to
I'm afraid you'll find someone else
someone who will replace me
who will make you forget about
the fact that we're supposed
to be together
I want you to be happy, of course I do
and after all the mess I've made
you deserve eternal peace
but being in a world where we
don't end up together feels so wrong
I guess I'm not supposed to feel right
and how could I when I am my own reminder
that all your love was once mine?
you would have loved me desesperately,
hopelessly,
irretrievably,
if you only knew I was hidden in the dark.
