One Direction MPreg Oneshots

My Letter to You~ Niam AU

When I'm alone, I think of you. I think about what you would say to us. Us, it sounds weird saying that. Usually it's the babies and I. Now it's we and us.

I think about what you would have done if I had gone through with what I was thinking of. You would hate me. I know you would. But I'm keeping them because they're the last living part of you I have. I thought about aborting our child because I can't do this without you. I didn't - don't want to raise kids alone. So I'm not. Zayn's going to be there with me, but I wish it was you. He's not replacing you, I promise. Please don't ever think that. The babies will have more than 1 father figure in their life, but I wish it was you. I wish you didn't die a hero's death, but here you are. I keep wishing you held on longer, just a little, until you could have maybe felt them move, or at least felt the bump I have. But you couldn't and you died in my arms.

You went into work and were called out to a robbery. The guy had hostages and you were helping them away while the other officers were distracting him. He saw you and shot you in the upper back twice. Louis said you were bleeding everywhere, struggling to stay conscious and you still told him to tell me that you loved me. (I'm crying if you can't tell by the smudged parts.)

You weren't doing very well when the hospital got to you. I was afraid that you would already be gone by the time I got there, by Louis' description. I got there and damnit, Niall you were so pale, you blended in with the rest of the bed and it terrified me.

The doctors had problems trying to keep you alive with all the complications you had. Your health started to go downhill after a few days in a coma.They didn't have much hope for you, so they started to let me lay in the bed with you. We were fine for a couple days and then you started having seizures. We were sleeping and you started to jerk and twitch, waking me up. I hit the nurse call button and she ran in, took one look, and paged your doctor. She looked at me with pity in her eyes and I could tell that it was going to be your last night. The doctor came in with bags full of clear liquid and somehow managed to get you to stop convulsing.

"All we can do is pray he doesn't go into cardiac arrest."

So I took you and held you tightly against my chest. The doctor was turning to leave the room when your heartrate started dropping rapidly. I already knew what was gping to happen next. So I held you tigjter and cried into your hair. The doctor and nurse just stood there watching it all play out. They couldn't do anything for you. You were DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) because they couldn't get out one of the bullets near your heart. The electric shock would kill you more than save you. Then your heart stopped and I lost it. I sobbed into. if I hadn't made you go into work that day, none of this would have happened. You would still be alive to see our babies. I hope they have your beautiful, bright eyes and your hair, your brown hair that I love that was always so fluffy. And your personality.  I want them to be just like you. Perfect.

I shouldn't have made you go that day. I should have madebyou stah with me like you wanted. And now I'm sorry I ever did because I robbed our children of one of their dads. I miss you , I love you forever.

             xx Liam

I lay down on the bed. It was too big for one person. It was needs two people. A blonde boy and a brown haired boy and their kids. But now it only has a brown haired boy and the babies. There were more people in the house than just those mentioned,  but they didn't want to upset the boy.

I rolled over and grabbed his pillow, hoping ot still smelled lile him. I curled mt around it and cried.