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Preface

What are you doing here? Wait...you clicked the 'Read' button, didn't you? Why, dear Wattpadder? Why? Why are you putting so much faith in this freakinly terrible story??? I need the official explanation behind the enigma that you have left me with...

Honestly, I'm awful in writing, especially prefaces... But lately, i have became...you know...like, motivated to put up my confidence together (you can blame Tim for that...) and BOOM! Came along an idea to make a collection of unemphasized pieces of writing which are based on the daydreams that I have thought about. (AKA a bunch of random short stories)

WHAT TO EXPECT:

1. Crappy English

2. Unfunny jokes

3. Surreal stories

4. Pure absurdity

5. A series of imperfect high school one-shots which I guarantee would not achieve the level of pure romantical fluff...

(I think)I am open for requests... Just tell me one sentence or the title of the story and I will (try to) work it out...(But don't be mad if I couldn't accept each and every requests...I'm still climbing the hill, dude!)

If you are the Grammar Nazi type of reader, please x100, correct my wrongings in each sentence in each stories... I beg you, sir/madam, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I'm going to update this story at least once a month... And if I don't do so, you deserve the rights to PM me 'You're a pure noob, 347156289!!!'...

I am 99.99% sure that you won't read each story without eye-rolling, facepalming, or saying "This guy's a pure noob"...cuz why not? Can you imagine what would happen if a noob trying to masquerade as an author and then tries to publish a series of short stories? (Ans. on Story 5)

With that being said, enjoy, I mean, burn in the Hell of English Short Stories... RIP English... We're gonna miss you so much...

Seriously, dude? I think you're over exaggerating. Your story can't be that awful...

I, who was reading the preface of my best friend's first ever story, sighed.

"Chin up, dude. I've seen worse authors!", I was talking to myself, in this unsupposedly chilly room. The temperature was 25°C. I didn't understand why I had my blanket on.

I clicked the 'Continue Reading the Next Part' button. I was eager to know what was kept in his mind all this time. I began reading it, word by word. Upon reaching the second paragraph, my eyes widened. "What the hell? What is this?". I then quickly folded my crimson red laptop.

My hands were trembling. Blood oozed out of my eyes. "He-He really is the WORST author... ". I glared at the laptop. I couldn't tolerate much more of his 'uncivilized English'. The story, which contains an infinite number of grammatical and spelling errors made me lost my self-conscious. I looked around and saw a gun near my on the table by my bed.

You and your story's mere existence is an insult to the art of English literature.

I pointed the gun to the laptop and I was ready to banish the both of them from the land that borders NOOBS and PROS. "I'm sorry, my friend...But I'm left with no choice". I pulled the trigger several times. A few loud gunshots filled the bedroom.

Suddenly I felt a poignant sensation in my chest. Blood oozed out uncontrollably. I was absolutely shocked to learn the truth; I was being stabbed...by MY LEFT HAND...

An eerie voice came from the laptop, which matches with Thy's voice a lot... It said: RGHZMZYHLOFGVHSFXPVIBQLRMNVRMSVOO.

I replied with a smirk. "Whatever you want, friend".

My eyes were gazing at the bottle of gasoline at the side of my bed, which is located right under the table light. I didn't hesitate to take it and after I did so, I indulged myself in a pour of the fresh-scented gasoline. Thy and I had a history of gasoline together... It was such an incredible time...

I then took out the lighter from my left pocket and cited it. my whole body was covered in this...some kind of hot substance which is unbelievably attractive. I took a peep at the outside world, only to see Sophie, my ex, walking her poodle.

"You're right, Thy..."

I cut my nose in half using the knife that stabbed my chest earlier. "At last, I've finally found...ABSOLUTE HAPPINESS!!!"

I spent what's left of my pity soul by howling joyfully while squeezing my unique and gorgeous nose...