M A T T E S P I N O S A:
I wish it could just be simple, like a retro song, I want you to want me, boom. Problem solved. Except it wasn’t that easy.
Flash Back: "Matt stop it!" I screamed as the cold water hit my body. "It’s cold!" I screeched trying to cover my body. Matt laughed as he held the hose continuing to spray me with it. I sputtered out water glaring at Matt who was doubled over laughing at me. He scooped me up in his arms running around the around, I smacked his back screaming that I was going to fall. "Stop being a baby, baby!" Matt said laughing picking up his speed. I screeched laughing as I smacked his back some more, "I’m not a baby!"
Matt was everything I wanted, and once I got him, I had to let him go. There was never enough time, never enough I love yous’ now that I think about it we barely had any time to be an actual couple but I loved him more than anything in the world.
Flash back: I felt the paint hit my body with a splat, I laughed at Matt’s face which was covered in paint. It was Matt’s bright idea to have a paint fight so here we are, drenched in a rainbow of paint. Matt came up to me smashing my body with his, I love the way his fingers grazed the side of my hip. “You look cute as a rainbow.” Matt said smiling down at me. I smiled leaning up to peck his lips. Oh how I loved his lips on mine.
I could still feel his fingers grazing my skin, the way he held me, the way he touched me, the way his kisses were delicate but rough.
Flash Back: "You’re perfect to me." He said rolling over onto his side to look at me. "I want to watch the stars with you for the rest of my life." "You really mean that?" I asked rolling over onto my side looking him in his eyes. "More than anything." Matt said tucking a loose piece of hair behind my ear. "I love you Y/N." I looked at him wide eyed, my heart went into spasms. "I love you too Matthew."
I still remember the first time he loved me, I would never forget that night, I felt like I was on top of the world and no one could bring me down.
Here I stand today, at Magcon standing in Matt’s line. I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself I’m re-opening fresh wounds, but I wanted answers and I wanted answers now. “Excuse me miss?” I turned around coming into view with Danny. “Y/N?” “Hey Danny.” I said smiling rubbing my arm. “Matt requested that you meet him backstage.” I gulped nodding my head following Danny towards the backstage, Danny gave me a small smile before leaving the room. I sat down on the couch my leg shaking uncontrollably, I bit down on my bottom lip rubbing my hands on my pant legs. “What are you doing here?” That voice, that voice I missed so much, I couldn’t handle looking at him so I looked down at my converse. “I’m not really sure.” I answered honestly. “You shouldn’t be here.” Matt said sitting next to me on the couch. “I know.” I said finally looking up at him, nothing changed about him he was still the boy I fell in love with eight months ago. “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” Matt said searching my eyes for answers. “Nothings wrong, everything is fine. I just needed to see you.” “Y/N, please don’t make this any harder than it already is.” Matt said gulping. “I just wanted to know why.” “Why what?” “Why you left me without an explanation without a goodbye.” I said quickly wiping at my face. “I thought it would be best that way.” Matt said looking down at his hands. “Why?” Matt didn’t answer, “Why?!” I shouted. Matt’s head snapped up. “Because I love you!” Matt said shooting up from his seat. I stood up too chest to chest with him, “Because you loved me?! you fucking left me!” I told myself I wouldn’t cry but I couldn’t hold it in. I wiped at my face, “You make me weak.” I croaked. “Look at me!” I screamed, Matt looked at me with tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry Y/N, I never meant to hurt you. I thought I was doing what was best for you, I was scared, I just wanted to protect you from everything, especially the hate. I did what was best for you.” Matt said crying. “What was best for me? You don’t know what was best for me! what was best for me was being with you!” “You were what was best for me.” I said looking at him with tear filled eyes. “I’m sorry Y/N.” Matt said sniffling. “I left you before you left me.” Matt said. I let out a laugh walking backwards towards the door, “That’s funny Matt because I was never going to leave you.” I said opening the door, I looked at the love of my life one last time before I left him standing there alone lost in his thoughts. This time it wasn’t me standing alone crying wondering what I did wrong, it wasMatt.
