Autumn

Chapter One

Sunday, June 2nd, 2016

I am awake. I sit up out of bed and stare at my room. It's the same room, but it doesn't feel like it's mine anymore. It is empty and hollow, yet it is full of useless objects and piles of clothing. My parents haven't tried to wake me up for church today; they know what this day means to me; if only they did before. I rub my eyes and stand up, slowly walking over to the calendar lying on my desk, next to a torn leather journal. I know exactly what day this is. June 2nd is circled in a light blue marker. I cross the day off and close my eyes, remembering every detail of this exact day, only one year earlier.

Sunday, June 2nd, 2015

"Christian, wake up. Time for church."

A groan escapes my lips as I pull the sheets over my head. Sunday's are meant for sleeping in, not getting up excruciatingly early to listen to oblivious people preach about things that don't matter. No, I don't think Jesus Christ is our lord and saviour, and I definitely don't want to go to church and be reminded of how much my entire existence is a sin. Despite my cynical thoughts, I roll out of bed and grudgingly throw on the cream button-up shirt and trousers my mother has carefully folded for me. I drag my feet to the bathroom and feel the cool tiles on the bottom of my feet, the feeling wakes me up slightly. I clean my face, brush my teeth, and attempt to calm down my hair; which was now sticking up in places which I originally never knew it could. After I look somewhat presentable, I kick on my shoes and stomp down the stairs towards my fate. My mother and father stand at the door, keys in hand, dressed in a grey suit and a modest floral dress.

"There you are! Come on, let's get going." My mother says sweetly, petting my shoulder apologetically as if I was some kind of stray animal. She very well knew my perspective of church, just not the entire reason. My father smiles at me and makes his way out of the door, with us at his heels.

Church is its usual riveting experience; lots of standing, lots of sitting and me slightly dozing at the end of a pew. As the service ends (and I silently thank god that it has done so) the congregation makes their way into the foyer, in which a long table is filled with food. Now, usually I would be diving into that table faster than my parents dive into their Bibles, but something had caught my eye. At the other end of the room, standing directly opposite to me is a boy. He has his eyes downcast and his hands are in the pockets of his black trousers. The thing that strikes me about him is his hair, which is long to the point of covering his eyes, and is the brightest shade of light blue I have ever seen. He seems to be as out of place as I am; the bright colour standing out amongst the dreary suits and dresses. I no longer feel hungry. Something inside my chest tightens and I suddenly can't breathe. The only human function that I can manage is to keep staring at this intriguing creature, who now looks up from the floor, and straight at me. My heart threatens to jump from my chest and violently strangle me. The boy smiles; oh god that smile. Before I could smile back, a swarm of people surrounded me, pushing their way past to dig into the food. The blue is lost in a sea of people. For the first time in my life, I didn't want to leave church.