I got a cab because I knew that the second we started driving, Arianna would fall asleep and be immovable. We arrived home and I dragged her up the stairs, holding her fireman's style because I'm as strong as any boy and she's really light. I dropped her on the couch, right on top of my "dad," who went bonkers.
"Is she drunk? Did you take her along with some of your co-whores? You are a fucking stupid girl, get out of my sight!" he bellowed. Notice how I'm the one in the hot seat because Arianna is drunk. I tried not to smack him and stomped to my shared room. Ava was sitting there with my songwriting notebook in one hand and a pencil in the other. "I heard Daddy yelling at you. I'm sorry, Autie. Wanna hear my song? I'll teach you the tune and you can sing it," she whispered. Using a really old keyboard I'd bought for ten bucks (plus some other services) she plunked out a melody. It was sad, dark, haunting, beautiful. I read the lyrics and tried not to cry.
"How could you do it? I never saw it coming. I need the ending, so why can't you stay just long enough to explain?" came the chorus. Simple but deep, and although I knew the answer, I had to ask. "Ava, baby girl, is this about Mommy and Daddy? Our real ones?" I choked as she nodded. "Right when they commited Sue side," she told me matter of factly. "Suicide, you mean, Ava," I corrected in a hoarse rasp. "And that was why we moved in with Gramps, but then he touched us,"
"Have you drawn any pictures lately, Ava?" I inquired. She lit up and grabbed her My Little Pony backpack, digging out a pile of paper. "This one is a heart, except it's all black. This one is a grenade-" where had she even learned how to draw a grenade? "and this is a man drowning," she finished. The last one showed deep blue water with a hand sticking out. Chills went through my limbs as I imagined myself as that man, trying to get ahold.
"Tell me a story, Autumn," Ava begged. I swallowed. "What about, Ava?" she was quick to answer. "Heaven and Hell. Tell me which one Mommy and Daddy went to,"
My baby sister is drowning in death.
