Bruised But Not Broken

Chapter 10

"Good morning, baby." Says a masculine voice, belonging to none other than Pike.

"We have school today." He adds.

My body is propped up on my elbows. I turn my head toward the clock. It reads 7:15. Ugh. Too early. I bury my head in the pillows.

"Come on, Windsor we have to get up!" He says, laughing.

When I still don't get up, he brings out the tickle monster.

"You gonna get up yet? Huh?" He says through his laughing.

I'm curled in a ball, laughing.

"I'll get up, I'll get up!"

He finally lets me up, and I look at him. He's already dressed, in black jeans, a blue polo shirt and his hair slicked up. As always, he's wearing basketball sneakers.

I crawl off the bed, and walk half-asleep to the bathroom. I jump in the shower really quickly, giving myself just enough time to wash my body, face and hair. When I'm out, I run a brush through my hair, gently taking the knots out of my hair. After, I brush my teeth and get dressed.

I step in front of the mirror to look at myself. The water is still running from the faucet. I'm wearing all black. Black leggings, black tank top, black knock-off Ugg boots. I do not wear makeup, as I do not have any. Either way it wouldn't matter, I'd probably be just as ugly.

My fingertips graze the scars on my wrist. Of course they are accidental scratches that appeared during the night of my horrible, terrifying nightmare. One that has not returned since Pike has stayed with me. But to be honest I like them there...

"You rea-" Pike starts as he steps through the door.

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She is standing there, fully dressed although she does not have a sweatshirt on.

Her right hand is clamped over her left wrist. When I walked in, her fingers lightly touched the marks. They didn't look fresh to me, and I didn't see a razor nearby. But I was still worried.

"Oh my God. Did you just? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything." Her voice quivers.

I step foward towards her. Her hand is still clamped over her wrist, but I am able to pry her wrist free. She stands there looking at me, eyes showing no emotion.

"Pike those aren't fresh, they are from Saturday night."

I continue to look at them. She's right, they are not fresh. I let go of her arm.

"Then why were you looking at them" I ask her.

"To see how they were healing." She says, although she does not look at me.

"You like them being there, don't you?" I say, so softly I don't even know if I actually say the words.

I must've said them though, as she just nods.

"Were you thinking about putting more-" I can't even continue. How could I not realize she wanted to do this to herself?

"I'm sorry, Pike. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Why would you even want to do that to yourself?"

"I don't know."

"Too see if you're still alive?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"It will ruin you. You won't be able to stop."

"I know."