Arthur: So, Francis, I am hoping that you can explain this large bill from the flower shop down the street.
Francis: Well, I was helping little Alfred express his feelings for Kiku.
Arthur: Oh dear Lord.
Kiku: *opens his front door and is drowned by a wave of roses.*--
Kiku: Herc, I think we need to talk about this cat obsession of yours.
Hercules: Why?
Kiku: It's gotten out of hand.
Hercules: Really?
Kiku: People recognize our place as "The Cat House".
Hercules: ...
Kiku: The only food in our house is cat food.
Hercules: ...
Kiku: I can't take a step without accidentally stepping on a cat.
Hercules: ...And?
Kiku: HOW IS THIS OKAY??
--
Ludwig: Feli-- I thought that I told you to clean up the kitchen after using it!!! I invited Kiku over! It's going to look atrocious!!
Feliciano: ...
Feliciano: Uh oh
Ludwig: Uh oh??!
Ludwig: ...
Ludwig: HOW MUCH PASTA DID YOU MAKE??!!!?
Kiku: *opens door and is drowned by a wave of pasta*
Kiku: WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN??!!?--
Francis: Happy Valentine's Day Artie!!
Arthur: Don't call me that. And besides, Valentine's Day is a scam. It's a fake holiday cooked up by the head companies of the world to cash in on our romantic connections to one another.
Francis: I bought you some chocolate.
Arthur: ...
Arthur: *grabs the chocolates and runs away*
--
Gilbert: *unholy screaming*
Elizaveta: What's the matter, Gil?
Gilbert: WE'RE OUT OF BEER
Elizaveta: We can get some more tomorrow. And besides, is beer that important?
Gilbert: DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME
Elizaveta: Oh stop being so overdramatic! So what if you don't have beer? You have me~
Gilbert: ...
Gilbert: *screams louder*
--
Relationship counselor: Okay! It's time to start our session! So, may one of you tell me why we're meeting today?
Kiku: ...
Hercules: ...
Kiku: ...
Hercules: ...
Kiku: ...
Hercules: ...Kiku: ...
Kiku: He loves his cats more than me
Hercules: Omfg
--
Gilbert: Roderich. Stop playing the piano for a minute. I need to talk to you about something important.Roderich: *keeps playing
Gilbert: I decided... How about we put aside this silly fighting? I can't bear to fight you because I... I love you, Roderich.
Roderich: *keeps playing
Gilbert: OH COME ON!! HOW DID THAT NOT WORK??!
Elizaveta: HA!! You owe me five bucks!!
Ludwig: What are you guys doing?
Elizaveta: Trying to get Roderich to stop playing the piano
--
Alfred: I am the fridge, the fridge is me. I am the fridge, the fridge is me. I am the fridge, the fridge is me-
Arthur: Uh, what are you doing?
Alfred: Just listening to this easy meditation video that Emil sent me yesterday.
Arthur: ...
--
Ludwig: Come on brother, don't do this.
Gilbert: No, you need to stop.
Ludwig: Brother, we both can't propose to Feliciano.
Gilbert: We could, and then have him choose. But, just a warning, you're gonna lose.Ludwig: This isn't a game!
Gilbert: Whatever. I'm proposing.
Gilbert/Ludwig: *walk into the kitchen, get down on one knee, and pull out rings* Will you marry me, Feliciano?
Feliciano: ...
Feliciano: *takes both rings, puts one on a spaghetti noodle, pauses, then puts the other one on his ring finger*
Feliciano: They said yes!
Gilbert/Ludwig: ...
--
Lukas: Mathias, this news may come as a shock to you, but, I can explain-
Matthias: ?
Lukas: ... I'm pregnant.
Matthias: Two things, 1, HOW??! 2, Have you been seeing other men??!
Lukas: ...
Lukas: *gives birth to butter
Matthias: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK NORGE??!!!?
Lukas: I CAN EXPLAIN!!!
A.N.
Idk what I just wrote, but I bet it was horrid! Please request!
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Hetalia One Shots!
FanfictionCover art is not mine! None of the characters in this book belong to me! All rights go to the creators and owners. [COMPLETED]