Jungkook's Birthday Special [BTS]

Jungkook stared at the mirror as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Today was a wonderful day.

Today was the day of his birth, the day he came into existence.

Jungkook was disgusted with himself. He wished he was never born. He wished he could kill himself and never have to seen another soul in this cruel, horrible world.

Jungkook ripped open the cupboard above the kitchen sink next to the mirror and his hand gripped the blade inside the cupboard.

He thought back to himself, his family, his fans and most importantly - his band mates.

They were just like his second family, supportive, loving and caring.

The thing that hurt the most was hurting them and Jungkook hated himself for that. He hated how he worried his band members, he hated how he was dragging them down because of his so called depression.

Jungkook knew he had depression, there was no way around that.

How did he get this depression?

It all started a few months, maybe a year back when Jungkook had posted on twitter a selfie of himself in the mirror. He was scrolling through all the comments but frowned when all he saw was comments about how fat he was and how he was the heaviest member in BTS.

Some comments said he was ugly, some comments said he was fat and others went as far as to tell Jungkook to kill himself.

Of course at first Jungkook ignored the comments, reading all of the positive and nice ones from the actual ARMY, not the antis.

(Jungkook has a translator to read comments)

But the more Jungkook kept reading comments, whether it was on Twitter, YouTube or any other social media, the more Jungkook began to feel worthless.

His bandmates, the other members knew about what was happening, well they didn't know how it started.

Jimin had once walked into Jungkook cutting himself, that day Jungkook wasn't the one to bandage his own cuts, Jin did.

That night Jungkook slept in the same bed as Jimin, Jimin sobbing and telling Jungkook how sorry he was for not noticing. Both boys cried their hearts out.

Jungkook promised his members to get better, but behind their backs Jungkook would starve himself and continue to cut himself.

The members would notice sometimes, but hardly ever with their busy schedules. They were always focused on something else, and Jungkook appreciated that for once.

Jungkook gripped the blade in his hands tightly, the blade digging into his fingers and already drops of blood began to fall.

His eyes flashed back to when he thought he was finally skinny enough, being 120 pounds. His members asked him what was wrong seeing him skinnier than ever before, Jungkook would just lie and say that he hadn't been eating properly with their schedule.

Once Jungkook had gained the courage to post a picture of him, he showed off his skinny body hoping that people would be satisfied.

He saw fans commenting on how skinny he was and Jungkook smiled.

But then came the comments that said he was still fat and ugly and worthless.

Jungkook cried himself to sleep that night, well he did almost every night after that.

A few members noticed he wasn't eating properly, so they'd make sure to have a few meals around him.

Jungkook felt like throwing them up, but for the sake of his best friends he tried his best not to. Sometimes he would throw up and other times he wouldn't.