An Homage to Heartbreak

Part Three - Finals

The problem came towards the end of the semester. Penny began to pull away, and at first I wasn't quite sure why. She didn't call, answer questions in class, or come to my office nearly as much. Her staying over at my apartment had almost ceased completely as well, but wanting to maintain some shred of self-respect, I did not question her. Instead, I chalked it up to every college students' overwhelming preparation for coming final exams. I didn't want to seem insecure, though admittedly, I was. I didn't want to seem too invested, though admittedly, I'd given her my all. Not money or things, instead, I'd given her the gift I never expected to share—my heart.

I don't claim to have an eidetic memory, not even close really, but I remember everything about the day things fell apart. It was a Friday, the last Friday before Christmas break to be exact. I knew preparations for the spring semester were in full swing, and I wondered what my next Creative Writing class would be like without Penny.

She ducked into my office unseen late in the afternoon as I was gathering my things to head home. Her usual ripped jeans, band t-shirts, and sneakers were replaced with a soft, red dress that clung to her in all the right places. As if reading my mind, she cringed, "Family Christmas Party tonight. Formal occasion."

"Sounds fun," I laughed. "Will I see you after?"

"I - uh - well, I don't think so," she stumbled. Immediately I knew something was not right.

"Maybe tomorrow then?"

"Actually, no." Her expression looked like a muddled mixture of pain and annoyance. "I'm leaving. I won't be back next semester."

"Where are you going?" I pressed.

"Actually, I'm moving out west, to California. I want to pursue film writing, so I'm looking for specialty training in that area. I've already withdrawn to make a clean transfer." Pausing for a moment, she added, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just didn't know how to bring it up."

"I can see that," I mumbled, mostly to myself.

Penny closed the distance between us in two steps, grasping my face in her hands briefly. "I've learned so much from you in class...and," she blushed "Out of class. But, one of the things I learned is that I've got to be free. I've got to fly. I see you, Reed, and I can tell you're not completely the person you want to be. That saddens me even though I cannot fix it. I loved the hell out of everything that's transpired between us. Please, don't think otherwise, but I don't want to be like you when I grow up."

For a moment the room was completely silent, until she sighed.

"I thought about, uh, asking you to come with me. That sounds kinda stupid, right? But, I think I've learned enough about you to know you wouldn't. Not necessarily that you wouldn't want to, but you wouldn't be comfortable. As much as we fit, we're different."

"I never got to read your story, Penny," I whispered pulling her in for one last kiss. "You know it by heart, Reed. We lived it."

Then she was gone.