I am sick and tired of all the abuse that I get from this absurd place. The rooms are small. They seem to only like the color white and the light color of gray. There are no real windows besides the small, narrow one at the top end of the room, my only light source. Whatever that window does not brighten up, it is gloomy and dreadful. To be honest, I don't know exactly how I even got into this little room but I do remember that I have been here ever since I could remember.
Outside the metal door, I can hear the screams of the delirious people in the rooms of the same hallway/block as me. They never shut up, not even at night. They scream in their sleep as well as yell when they are awake, it is as if they are always in pain.
I've met one of the patients in our monthly conversational studies. He had no hair whatsoever, not even on his arms. He had one of those lazy eyes that won't stop staring at you, and most of all, he had the mouth of a dog, drooling all over the place. The problem with him is that he always believes that someone is trying to take over his body, that he is doing things he would never normally do. Of course this guy hit the spot with crazyville. Anyways, He is the only one I have met besides the patients that say the simple 'hi' only because they are forced to say it to get a report that they have talked to everyone.
Seriously, my life sucks. The food sucks. There is no cafeteria so we all receive our meals through the tiny slots that are provided under our door. They don't open the doors because they are too afraid to step into some mentally insane person, hoping that they wouldn't get eaten by one of the crazies. Actually, there was a situation that had the mind change of the food deliverers. One day, when a food deliverer came into one of the rooms, the patient was trying to kill herself. The man tried to stop her but it was no use, she bit off one of his fingers when he reached out to her. There is some crazy stuff that happens here.
Anyways, our typical food plan consists of bread, milk, and some type of fruit that is not even a serving (if we are lucky). I have a feeling that prison is fed much better than we do here at the psych ward.
They don't separate the women and the men either. They all are in the same hallways/blocks, the women are the ones that scream the most though. They mostly complain of their flesh burning or something along those lines. I roll my eyes at them, I believe that it is all in their head.
What is weirdest part is that I don't have a mental problem. They refuse to release me because they say that I have some type of 'special' condition. Ugh, what kind of special condition could I even have? I am perfectly fine, nothing is wrong with me. I don't see a single defect with me. Even most of the officers would agree with me on that. I just don't get it.
Occasionally, I have the weekly visits with the Chief of Medicine. He works for this building of the hospital. Actually, today is when he is to come in. To be honest, he isn't the best person to meet with, especially when he is in a bad mood.
The metal door creaks open to the side. Doctor Colligan steps into the room with two police officers at his side. They shut the door so all the patients could hear that he has arrived, they do that because they want the patients to be silent while they try to make me scream. With the psych room being so small, all four of us could barely fit so both police officers step out. Once they are gone, without hesitation, Colligan runs up to me, making sure he grabs my neck fully. He slams me against the wall, making my head hit the cold metal walls. There is a ringing going on in my head.
"I'm not happy today, Ember."
I lock my eyes with his stormy gray ones, but I notice a pinch of red near the pupil that splashes. Of course, I am smart enough to not say a word to him through this whole process. I don't understand why he chooses me to beat up on but I guess since I'm 'different' it makes sense.
