//A poem about dealing with self hate and a the small dark voice inside you
It’s like there’s a darkness
Something broken deep inside you
A hollow
A hole swallowing light
A blackness polluting your space
Can you stomach it?
Can you look in the mirror
The biased glass that screams your faults?
Can you stomach it?
Can you stomach the voice in your head
Dripping from the blackness
Murmuring it’s questions
And it’s accusations
Why do you eat so much?
You gonna be fat
Why is it that you eat so much?
You are fat
Why is it that you can't hold still?
ADD is a fake condition
Why is it that you can’t just hold still?
You’re such a spaz, quit it
Why don’t you smile?
You’re depressing the people around you
Why don’t you just smile?
Don’t bring me down
Why is it that you speak?
Your mind is cliche and you are boring
Why don’t you just shut up?
No one cares what you have to say
Can you tell me why you can’t focus?
You’re always reading
Could you just pay attention for God sake?
You’re always drawing
Why don’t you fix your hair?
It’s poofy and weird
Can’t you just style it?
It’s too long, cut it
Cut it
Cut it
Slit your wrists and just leave us all alone
Go drown
Go choke
Go
You aren’t wanted here
You aren’t wanted anywhere
You aren’t wanted
You aren’t
You
You are a shadow of you
Why are you so sad all the time?
Why won’t you play with me big sister?
Why won’t tell me what’s wrong, daughter of mine?
Why is there a black hole eating you from the inside out?
Is there anything we can do?
Why are you screaming into the pillow?
Why are you falling from the walls?
Why are you dropping your eyes?
Why are you throwing the pillows from your bed?
Tell me what you see in the dark
Tell me what is dancing on your walls
Tell me what you see
Tell me why you are shaking in fear when the lights fall
Tell me what you see
Why are you so afraid of the dark
Why are you choking and shaking and crying and stumbling and gasping and fumbling for the lightswitch
Screaming all the way
What do you see so terrifying?
Tell me, Alexis
I can tell you I see darkness all around
I see demons
I see white eyes hanging from the ceiling
I see black bodies creeping closer
I see the broken jaw smiles staring from the closet
I see the shadow on the ceiling
I see them dancing and leaping higher and nearer
And I’ll tell you this
I can barely breathe
I can’t explain why
But they are in the night
They have long white fingers tangling in my hair
They have too many teeth
And their eyes are gone
And they are all around me
And you don’t see them
You don’t exist here in my mind
The black hole holding on
Polluting
Destroying and I am afraid
There is a darkness inside me
Something broken deep inside me
There is a hollow
A hole swallowing light
A blackness polluting my space
Lying somewhere behind my face
//Remember, you are beautiful and deserve to be loved
