Reader X TV

Chapter 1: The Best Buy

I walked into Best Buy. I had recently moved and all I needed now was a TV, the most essential part to my entertainment. I wanted something nice, but not too pricey.
A Samsung caught my eye. Wide screen, good resolution, and $2000? My budget was $3000—thanks, grandparents. A man who looked to be in his early 20s approached me.
"It's a nice one, huh?"
"Yeah," I replied, "As a matter of fact, I'll take it." He smiled, nodding, and left to grab another worker.
"So, you want this one I hear?" His name tag read Joseph. I nodded and he told me to wait at the counter while he wheeled the TV over. After handing over my card and making the purchase, I drove home. It took a while, but eventually it was set up. I hit the power button and the screen came to life. I left the room.
Suddenly there came a, "Hello." I paused. Who said that? I entered the living room again, staring at the TV.
"Hello." This time I knew it was for sure the TV, for the screen read Hello. "I see you are perplexed. Allow me to explain. My name is Samuelsung. I'm your Samsung Television that you recently purchased."
I stood in shock. "How can you..." I was speechless.
"Communicate?" It—or rather, he, I suppose—replied. "That is not important. What is mandatory is the need to proclaim how ravishing you are looking."
A TV complimented me? What are theses confused yet fluttery feelings? This is peculiar.