Sentiment

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Quote Inspiration: 

"Sentiment" - Loki 

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I didn't want to hurt him.

I could feel the hot, sticky tear, flowing down my face. A single one had escaped when I had whispered a single word that I, myself, had never uttered. I didn't stab him, well I did, it was my hand and knife but it was not my motion. I felt like I was a puppet with strings being randomly pulled to suit my owner better. 

The Titian's whispers growing louder for me to take my sceptre and drive it through Thor's heart like I had done to the S.H.I.E.L.D agent on the helicarrier. His mind trickling into mine and down to my limbs earlier had resulted in my stabbing my brother. It was true, I was frustreated and had let him into my mind. I, more or less, had stabbed my brother; thankful that I had missed vital organs. Sure, I hated my not-brother brother, but I never wished him dead, not truly. Just as he never truly wished me dead. 

"We can, together." 

Those words. My mind had sparked alive for the firs time in a while; I was fough Thanos for control. Sure, I wanted my own realm to rule and Earth would be suitable. I had to prove myself to father, prove I could be King just as much as Thor. It hadn't gone so well on Asgard but on Earth, they were so easy to real. the believed anything their leaders said, no matter how fabricated and twisted the lies were. It would have been easy. 

My big brother wanted to help me, he had always been there for me, even if I still felt the biter taste of 'brother" on my mouth. It didn't seem to matter to him what I was called or what I wasn't blood related, he loved me. 

"Sometimes I'm envious but never doubt that I love you."

I had said that to him the day of his corination, the day that my world completely came unraveled, and not int he way that I had anticpated. I was lied to, betrayed and hurt. I hadn't had him to lean upon when Odin had fallen deep into Odinsleep, leaving me the one thing I desired. It had been my chance to show him that I could rule and that Thor was incapable of doing what needed to be done. I would be like my father, do what had to be done no matter what the cost. I would make him proud.

But he wasn't my father, and yet I still wanted his approval. Perhaps it was because I knew that my real father seemed to express no desire in taking me back. My kind didn't want me, my adoptive family didn't want me. Nobody in this unierse desired my prescence. Perhaps that's why Thanos intrigued me, why I felt the need to listen to him and to touch the stone the first time and to ultimately let him take my mind. 

All of this ran through my head as the words from Thanos slipped past my lips. 

"Sentiment." 

Such a weak thing, or so I had been told by Thanos when he had tortured me. When I had cried over my mother, even if she wasn't really my mother. How I had cried over my friends, how they had all become villians in my mind and reality warped. I was what the humans called "a nut case". 

The tear streamed down my cheek, trying to get through to my brother, the pained look on my face just barely noticable in my eyes but the blank look masked that. Thor stumbled backwards, the blade still in him and yet he fought. Fought to get me back or fought to stop me, I couldn't be entirely sure it wasn't both. 

I fought with everything not to stab him through the heart, screaming at Thanos it was better to let him be killed slowly 

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