My Straight Hot Roommate ( Gay Series )

What would his cock feel like?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Colin take out one of his earbuds and furrow his brow. He frowned and put it back in; it seemed like Jesse and Duke were still riding their enthusiastic waves of passion, much to our chagrin. When I first asked the three roommates a couple of weeks prior if I could hang out at their apartment and study, no one had any problems with it. Jesse and Duke, in fact, were effusive in their enthusiasm at hosting me. Colin took me aside and advised me to get some good earphones, and I quickly learned not only how frequently the pair had sex, but how loud they were during. As entertaining as it could be to hear two guys enjoying themselves, that kind of distraction wasn't doing me any favors when it came to keeping up with schoolwork. At least I wasn't in my room at my apartment, wondering when Russ was going to show up and ask me to open wide to let his rocket in.

When I decided to keep my distance, I basically went cold turkey. I wasn't mean or rude to Russ, but I kept my responses curt. I could tell it surprised him, and he hadn't expected that kind of sudden turn right after he decided to insert himself, quite literally, into my hookup. I suppose he thought that maybe giving me that brief kiss was his way of letting me know he cared about my needs too, that he wasn't just using me as a cum rag. I tried to focus on the wrongness of that moment; it had to be him pandering to me. There was no way he actually really wanted anything more from me than what I had already given him. Surely he only saw me as his personal cocksucker, the one that bros think they're entitled to when all else fails, and I kept telling myself that I deserved better. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.

Focusing on the negatives wasn't easy, not when it felt so easy to fall back into his sway. I wanted to see him laugh again, or feel our fingertips brush as he handed me something. I wanted to feel him again. I wanted to be in front of him, looking up as his gaze saw right through me, knowing that only he could give me what I craved.

I wanted more than that.

What would he look like in the dimness of night as he fell asleep? What part of his skin would the first rays of morning illuminate? What would his strong arms feel like wrapped around me as we laid in bed, chuckling over some joke known only to us? Would he turn me onto my stomach and gently massage me, whispering into my ear as he slowly entered?

They were desires that I knew could never come to pass. Russ didn't have any of that in him, at least not with me. For all I knew, he made up with Paige and they were fucking like rabbits, giving even Jesse and Duke a run for their money. Not knowing was better than knowing. I didn't want to know that I would just be a notch on his bedpost, a story to tell his closest buddies when he got too drunk and started telling them about the obedient fag he had once upon a time in his college days, and they would probably share their own experiences, or at least the confident ones would.

My imagination ran wild with how I could be dismissed, and I didn't like it.

Jesse and Duke's door opened, and I saw more of them than I had ever expected as they giggled mischievously and scampered to the bathroom. I let out a sigh of relief and took my headphones off, and Colin visibly relaxed, mirroring me. "They might try to do it in the shower again, like last week, so maybe we're just getting ahead of ourselves," I joked.

"Let's hope not." Colin sat up in his chair and folded a corner of a page in his book, placing it on the coffee table. "Are you okay?"

I hesitated. My gut said to say that I was fine, that it didn't feel like I was dying a little inside the more I hid from Russ. But I also wanted someone to know the truth so that I didn't have to carry the weight around with me anymore. "I'm fine."

So much for wanting to unburden myself.

Colin gave me a knowing look. "You haven't said anything about Russ ever since that night at the club. That happened to be around the time you asked if you could chill here in the evenings. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that something's up. Did he do something to you?"