A Story From the Deep End

Making My Way Downtown

The keys jingled as I lifted them from their hook, then slight metallic clicks as I rolled my bike down the hall. "I'm heading out, I'll be back later!" I yelled as I opened the door to the front steps of the apartment. The sun filtered into the house as I bustled out with my four speed, and I squinted against the sudden brightness. As I closed the door behind me, I wished I had brought a pair of sunglasses with me, but I would survive without them.

I awkwardly lifted my bike and did the customary tango with it as I went down the stairs, wondering just how stupid I looked. I struggled and thankfully plopped the bike down after six strenuous steps. I readjusted the bikini around my neck and glanced around to check for bystanders before fixing my boobs inside the cups. It was a common occurrence for me to wish for a smaller bust, but it was particularly the "bikini struggle" that made me desperately wish for at least a single letter's difference.

I threw a flip-flop covered foot over the bike and pushed off, a slight breeze brushing my hair back from my face and the summer sun starting to bake my Irish skin. Summer was my favorite season, despite my tendency to burn. For one, I loved being able to wear shorts - and who doesn't like shorts. They have the power to give a girl confidence that they couldn't have wearing any other type of pants (except for sweatpants, which give a different more laid back confidence which can best be described as shameless laziness). Also, the barbeques always top the list; a social and fun environment that allows for everyone to feel optimistic about the coming days, followed by the lighthearted memories that will haunt the coming days. The absolute best thing about summer was that it ended a school year and allowed for students to let their hair down, sleep in, and hit the mall every day. That would be the highlight of my summer, had this not been the summer marking the end of my college life, and instead the constitution of a more responsible and planned out working life. And that wasn't something I was ready for- but is anyone ever ready for that?

I crossed the busy city street at a crosswalk, and as I rode across my eyes dared a coming speeding driver to run me over. Perhaps that would be a good way to earn some extra money: suing a bad driver who hit me in the cross walk. I remembered how my mom would always joke about that when I was younger, "I'd take all their money and enjoy a stay in the hospital for a while", she'd remark as me and my sisters looked at each other with concerned, and yet humorous smiles crossing our faces. But it was in that moment that I realized just how well that could work. It would give me a start on paying my student loans and perhaps keep me from being able to start looking for a job for a while. I'm certainly not looking forward to getting a real job.

The sun's rays were a perfect contrast with the amazing blue sky, and I deeply wanted to stop and take a picture- to save that for later when I could take out my water paints and put it all down on a canvass. An urban city scene with a southern sky- how poetic.

I rode down the sidewalk, which was empty on this Thursday mid-afternoon. Up the street a man with a gorgeous muscular figure was walking up to an apartment door and I admired him as I got closer. The V shape he had was ideal, and so were the thick, muscular arms reaching out to unlock the door, his short dark hair shaved down to stubble. It was something in the way he maintained himself as he walked and the way he slouched that reminded me of someone. I squeezed the brakes ever so slightly, slowing to a snail's pace. He noticed my suspicious speed and glanced over at me as I closed in on him. Suddenly, my heart stopped in my chest and the initial curiosity turned to painful nostalgia. I flashed back to my sophomore year of high school, and the same face smiled back at me from across a large wooden desk.

"Jason!" I yelled, as I clamped down on the breaks.

His mouth dropped, and he quickly opened the door, and then pivoted inside.

"Jason?" I called less confidently, and the door slammed behind him.

Well, that was casual, I critiqued myself. You're a mess... It couldn't have been him.

I pushed off again, watching the doorway as I rolled away. I tried to brush it off, but the face from across the desk continued to haunt me as I peddled my way through the city.