Stupid dumb annoying fucking piece of shit tweety-
"Salutations!"
"Fuck off."
God if Jack had eyes he'd probably glare daggers so sharp the bird would be dead where it perched. Which at the moment was his shoulder.
Jack thought he had made it painfully obvious he hates the damned pigeon. But No. This feather brained, twinkle toed fairy fucking god mother thought Jack liked him or some shit cause he never left Jacks side.
It was a smart little bird and it knew how to get out of its crate with ease. It's wings had grown some to the point it could climb high and glide right on top of Jack.
He wouldn't dare hurt Ashe though, Mel loved the stupid pigeon to pieces. Jack took his mask off to run his temples.
"Stupid Bird."
"Yes, yes you are."
Okay it was a little bit smart.
Jack laughed at the thought, he knew he muttered that under his breath so often the bird must of had it melted into its tiny brain. He could feel the bird happily dancing on his shoulder. It fucking reeked of its own shit, shocking since Mel cleaned it's cage at the slightest sign of poop. Like, deep clean. Mel was in the cage more than the bird was.
"I love you!"
"Shut up."
"I love you!"
His eye twitched for a moment as he swatted at the bird who evaded his assult.
"Go away!"
"Go away.."
He groaned before laying on the couch and just staring at the familar darkness that was his lack of eyesight. He could hear the bird flapping about as it landed hopefully on the floor.
"Go away! Go away!"
Jack shoved his face into a pillow trying to drown the bird out to no avail, but the bird quickly stopped chatting. He relaxed into the pillow at the wonderful holy silence that he loved so much.
And then he felt the cushion under him shift the tiniest bit.
And the shift moved closer.
Then grabbed his shirt.
One foot.
Two feet.
Grab.
Left.
Right.
Grab.
Stupid Bird was climbing him.
Jack didn't even want to bother with it. Maybe if he didn't react it would go away.
It slid down.
So soon? The bird slowly ass ended upwards closer to Jacks face.
"If you try to taste my face I'm certain this shit will poison you."
He grumbled into the pillow loud enough for the bird to hear. He didn't know if it understood but it would be wise if it didn't.. uh... lick the black off the seat? Do birds lick?
The bird kept moving until it was between him, the pillow, and the couch. It turned around with some difficulty before settling down.
It didn't take long before jack sensed it's slumber. Was it really going to sleep so close to a monster? Stupid pigion.
--
Mel was trying hard not to gush at the sight before him. The filter of cute his eyes had at the moment blocked out the mess of black he'd had to clean as they honed in on Jack sleeping on the sofa. One arm was under his head on a pillow and the other was loosely wrapped around the Parikeet who snuggled into him.
