The Price of Love

◆ 21 ◆

Breakfast was a strange affair the next morning. Not only did it take five different threats to get me out of bed, but Lee, who was getting his orders from Caius, finally lost his temper and said they would invite Beau Harrington to join us if I didn't leave the bedroom. On the fear of seeing my worst nightmare, I cleaned up myself and my attitude and went down to the dining room with another petite dress and a smile on my face. I'd kill them with desire if I couldn't kill them with my hands, especially Caius, who I decided I wasn't on speaking terms with. 

For loving me. God, it was like he lacked the imagination to come up with more creative excuses. I say excuses because I had, after careful consideration, come to the conclusion that Caius Kennedy was one lying bastard. I was still not sure what the playing grounds were for his new found game, but I wasn't taking any chances. There was not one honest bone in his body.

I don't know how I still had the energy to put up such an attitude, but I suppose, after years and years of starving myself to stay thin, food wasn't such a necessity for my survival. Dignity, pride, lies kept me full. But it wasn't without some exhaustion, more emotional than physical, that I purposely scraped the chair back against the marble floor and plopped down. 

Phoenix only watched with anxious concern, but for some reason, Lee glared at me.

I didn't blame them for Tommy's death, not even in the slightest, but it was my human nature to find faults. They were marginally responsible, but I was more so. Since I had already come to terms with my hand in his death, it seemed rather fitting to hate them for not speaking up. Of course, Caius would have carried out his intentions regardless, but it was the thought that counted. But then again...how much did thoughts count if a man was still viciously murdered? So it was with more than a heart full of accusatory hate that I sat with my two companions at the breakfast table, but I could not blame them when I was responsible, too.

I was sure the empty chair beside Lee had the same effect on them as it did on me. I had to believe they cared for Tommy too, or else what was the retribution for unethical empathy? I couldn't be the only one damned.

Phoenix cleared his throat. My head throbbing, I looked up at him. He gave a nervous look to Lee, who was now clutching his fork so hard his knuckles turned white,  before meeting my furious glare. "Hey, Daphne," He spoke like one would to a dying man in an alleyway. Or in the woods of Portland. I hated him for it. "How are you feeling?"

I didn't respond, but I don't think Phoenix really expected me too. The strange quirks of the two, their weird looks and their noodle-like personaltities which had so attracted me to the taste of friendship in the beginning, was suddenly bitter without the third missing piece. 

"You need to take this," Phoenix nudged a paper medicine up towards me with one finger. Inside was two bright red pills. "It's a protein supplement, something to get your energy levels back up."

Lee said nothing.

In a better mindset, maybe I should have considered the stupidity of accepting drugs from criminals, but I wasn't really too concerned with my well being at the moment. If death was in store for me, then so be it. I swallowed the pills with a swig from the glass of water. Depressing to think about how quickly my mind had deteriorated into a numb shell of my formerly pink self, but I'd also come to the conclusion that maybe I did deserve every bad thing that had happened to me so far.

Lee kept shooting me furtive glances from the corners of his eyes. In my annoyance, I found enough strength to bring a spoonful of caviar to my mouth. The richness cut through the bitter taste accumulating in my mouth. Until I had begun eating, I didn't realize how hungry I was, but food had no flavor anymore. Even the bowl of strawberries, my favorite fruit, brought no satisfaction, but I continued eating in silence for the mere sake of filling up. When I'd eaten all that I could, I drank some water and sat back.