7th Grade

September 4, 2017

Now I'm here. I sit alone. I can still hear the voices, they cause me suffering. I only wish that I could drown myself in silence, only hearing the sound coming from typing on the keyboard.

I've always taken for granted the silence, the peace, the satisfaction and relief that silence gives me. I love being alone. It's another reason why I am unafraid of death.

The school where I go to is my only source of happiness. Learning causes me happiness. Facts cause me happiness. However opinions and characteristics of my diversified schoolmates destroy the joy I get out of school.

My friends are my drugs. I can not relieve myself of them. I must be with them at all times. No matter how hard I try I can not be freed from them.

My family means nothing to me, and this is not a phase. I see nothing of use to them but providing me education and food. I can very well provide for myself if they didn't raise me to be this timid idiot I am now.

They raised me to be this logical monster I am now. I raised myself by rebelling against their wishes. I can distinguish what is right from wrong. So I am very much sure of my decision to defy every expectation my family has set for me.

Again I wish to be alone. Now I am alone, but I can still feel their presence. Irritating me. I want to be alone in silence, the feel of death.

Eternal silence, that's my dream. Death is an option that I would gladly choose. Although this is my dream, I refuse to make it come true until I reach 9th grade music class.

Do not ask me why, that's for personal reasons.

Now in silence, I can only hear the air, my breath, and the sounds coming from this keyboard. I still yearn for complete silence.

As I grow more mature, I become more realistic. My imagination has been replaced with useless information, making me exactly like every other adult.

I want to accomplish great things but I know I'll only reach the age of 26, when I decide to end it all. Silence is my most important goal.