Love: Birth

Chapter 1 Initium

(music playing with lyrics, piano and violin)

🎶Love is what fills you, makes you suffer
Love is what hurts you, it only gets rougher,
Will it make me happy? Or sad...
Will i get crappy? Or go mad...
Or will it save me? Feel alive
Will it cure me? Make me strive
It hurts but i am only thinking about you,
Tell me you're thinking about me too...
You hurt me so much...
Made my heart clutch...
Do you love me?
Or will you let me be?
I will give you my heart if you ask for it,
But please, treasure it and don't kill it,
Deep deep inside a fire lit..."🎶

(end music)

What is love? They say love makes you happy, they say it fills you, makes ypu feel alive, makes your life colourful, but why can't i see that? This "Love" tightens my chest... Makes me feel anxiety, agony and pain... It hurts so much, sometimes i want throw up, sometimes it gets hard to breath... I can't sleep at night, i don't eat and i don't want to see anybody... I just want to disappear, just shut down these feelings become an emotionless body... Or will i keep going like this? Getting stressed until my hair becomes grey? Or keep this pain inside until my heart gets sick? Or keep thinking until i lose my mind? If i knew that love hurt so much... I would never have stepped into it's world... I don't even have the will to go on anymore... I can't concentrate on work nor studies, i space out a lot, i do things without dedication... All these people who pretends to comfort me, they don't understand these feelings... They don't know what "love" is, they tell you that it's no big deal or move on, if it was that easy i wouldn't be writing this... I loved her, i cherished her, i cared for her, she was my all, my everything, there wouldn't be a day i wouldn't think about her, that beautiful smile, that small cute body, her brown clear silk hair painted a little with blonde, those brown eyes which i lose myself in... These feelings for her won't dissappear... I still love her as much as i did back then... I think i love her even more than before... Even if she treated me badly, even if she left me so many times, even if she doesn't love me as i love her, even if she doesn't care as i care, even if i mean nothing to her... I still love her... Day by day i love her even more, i miss her... It's just that... I lost her... That's why i want to die... Just dissappear.