Scarred

The Last Session

"All I remember was that uncle Jax drove me home. My parents were arguing about something. I don't really know what it was about. Kilton was crying, but I ignored him and went to my room. I don't know how long I was in my room or if I had fallen asleep, but the next thing I knew, I heard gunshots," Kaitlin paused, normally this is her trying not to choke on her own words because she is about to cry, but this time it is different. It had been different since a few weeks ago. The crushing choking sensation is not gone. It felt foreign and distant to her, she is almost not familiar of that feeling. Normally she would end up screaming, crying, or hurting herself and others, but now, nothing. She felt nothing. She is trying to pause to feel something even just that far away feeling of pain. But when she realized she wouldn't feeling anything at all she continued.

"I went downstairs to figure out what was happening. Then I saw the gun on the coffee table in the living room, I saw my Dad beside the table face down. My Mom was lying down on the kitchen floor facing the living room with a bullet hole in her forehead; she was holding Kilton. Kilton's head was bleeding too." She paused again. The feeling of nothingness in her mind is now the one suffocating her. The emptiness of emotions when her mind flashes her brother's face to her is alarming.

"Kalex and Kanielle were by the rec room behind the sofa, they were holding each other's hands with bullets in their heads. The pool of blood is staining the white carpet at the rec room. Mom would have been so upset if she saw it." She smirked a little trying to remember how her mom used to scold her every now and then. A tear fell down her face when she remembered that that would be impossible to happen now, but amidst the tear and the memory. She still feels nothing.

"I found Kasher knocked down on the floor in the bathroom I tried to wake her up. There was blood by her temples, but I could still hear her breathing," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Then everything was burning. I tried to turn on the cold water of the tub faucet. I took the towel and wet it and out it over her face. I put her in the tub and joined her there after taking another wet towel to cover my face. The room was covered in smoke after a few minutes and I can't breathe anymore. That was the last thing I could remember." Kaitlin herself is surprised she did not break down while retelling her story. Her therapy sessions with Dr. Alver had gone a long way from before. There's no more screaming or having someone sedated, be it Kaitlin or the poor nurse who is just doing her job.

"You said your uncle Jax was with you, did he leave right away? Or did he stay?" Dr. Alver asked.

"He normally leaves right after he gets me safe to the house. He drives me home every time after school." Kaitlin looked at her trying to read the expression on her face. Trying to see if she is hiding something from her. She does not want to miss something if Dr. Alver is actually hiding something. All her questions were pretty routine till it got to this one.

"Why does he do that?" Dr. Alver said shifting in her seat like she cannot get comfortable in it. Kaitlin looked at her indifferently as she try to hide her actions.

"I got into a car accident once and I almost died. My parents won't let me drive anymore." Kaitlin decided to abandon her suspicions since she has known that she could trust Dr. Alver, "At first it was either one of my parents, but then they started to fight a lot. So uncle Jax volunteered to take one for the team."

"What does he get from doing all these?"

"My mom gives him money. But he doesn't really take it." She stared down a few seconds before she added. "He is my really close uncle."

"How about your siblings? You said they usually come with you and your uncle when going home."

"I remembered Kalex had his soccer practice that afternoon so he usually gets home around 6:30pm. Kanielle asked permission to go out with her friends after school. I'm not sure what time she got home. Kasher actually asked me if she could go home with her friend. So maybe she got home shortly after I did."

"How about your dreams? Do the nightmares still come back?"

"Yes. But not every night. I've been having them less... Now."

"Can you tell me what are the truths in your life are now?"

"My family is dead, but Kasher is still alive. She's waiting for me when I get home. My uncle Jax is alive and he's taking care of Kasher. I am going to be here until the doctors think I'm cured."

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"I think I have asked you all of the questions that I have."

"Ok. You have answered my questions the same way every time I have asked you about it, you actually remembered most of it too, and you don't have any questions for me. These talks are not provoking you anymore. Your medications are good too. You are down to 15 mg/d week from 40 mg/d for two months now. I'm lowering your dosage to 10 mg/d. Your medical results are also showing more stability and you worked hard to get better. I got the results back from the psychiatric panel and they have approved your release. I talked to your uncle and I told him the good news that you are good to go."

"What... What do you mean? But I don't remember anything yet. I don't know who killed my family."

"Our brains are powerful Kaitlin, they tend to repress memories to protect us. Our therapy is not for you to remember that, it is for you to cope up of what you lost and what you still have. Anyway, your uncle Jax is picking you up in..." she looked at her watch to check the time, "an hour. He's on his way. Better get yourself ready."

"Are you serious? I'm... I'm... Thank you so much Dr. Alver!"

"You got better because you did it yourself," Dr. Alver smiled. They stared at each other for a moment, a secret message passed, a veil of understanding covered them.

"I will thank you Dr. Alver."

"And Kaitlin," Dr. Alver said before Kaitlin got out of the room, "Be sure to finish what you started. Kasher counts on you."

"I will," Kaitlin then ran to her room to gather her things.