Quicksand

You again?

❤Im scared of love and you hard to trust❤

"Hey Jadore" the kids from next door spoke to me sweetly.

Kasiya Jadore Wright but I go by Jadore. I got my first name from my mother , Kasyre (Ka-Sire) , and my middle name from my father Dajore (Da-Jore)..mine is just reversed. I go by my middle name because I feel it is more unique. 

"Hey yall," I waved and smiled at them.

There are a lot of children in this neighborhood. It wasn't no suburb and it damn sure wasn't no middle class area. If you guessed the projects then you are correct. Its not too much as ran down, but if I had a choice I would not be here right now.

Looking around I sighed. I did not want to waste my time here anymore. There was never anything positive around here really. 

I sat with my arms crossed as the wind blew lightly causing me to frown and fan myself quickly. It was hot as fuck, June to be exact, and it felt like hell outside !

I loved the summer time but sometimes it got entirely too hot. I don't see how these kids played outside all day and night. Which I wasn't to fond of especially for a kid to be out in this area all times of the night. The sad thing is females around here really didn't give a damn what their children did. All they cared about were chasing the big ballers and drug delers in the city which was a shame. 

I'm nothing like these women around here. I could never fit into the category with them. I have to much going for myself. The way they portray themselves is ridiculous. Someone should have taught them better. 

I thought about a million and one things trying to get my mind off my real problems. Like the fact that I feel alone sometimes. I feel like I have no one... 

I wish I had an escape. Someone or something to take my mind off everything that's weighing me down.

There are things that have happened in my life that I have never quite understood. I couldn't question it anyway. Everything happens for a reason right?  I was sick of people telling me that it was a reason for everything. What was the reason for my mother being murdered when I was only 8? Was there a specific reason my father went to jail when I was 14?  They both left me and look where I am now..in this shit hole living with my aunt!

I've been through enough to know nobody has me like I do. "I don't need nobody" I keep telling myself, but yet I always find myself in this very mood over and over again feeling low. Just thinking.  

Our minds can be our worst enemy at times. 

I know one thing that takes my mind off the bullshit though. A good ole fat blunt. 

I was snapped out of my thoughts as my best friend, Blake, walked up the stairs.

"Hey bae," she called out walking on the porch.

This is my sister from another mister for sure. We've been basically conjoined at the hip ever since wet met in the third grade.

"Hey boobie," I hugged her tightly. "Where you're ass been?" I asked her with an attitude.

"First of all" She held her finger in the air. "Lose the tude boo and you know where I been" she folded her arms.