Character Monologue - Hazel Lancaster - 'The Fault in our Stars'. The Beginning.

Just the beginning of a long journey:

I was thirteen years old, and just beginning to poke my head out of my timid shell, which had been protected by my parents ever since I was born, with only a few bumps, knocks and grazes in these childhood years. I was exploring the world for myself, starting eighth grade and feeling like I could accomplish anything, the world was my oyster... how wrong I was. How could three words change your whole life forever? These words were: "you have cancer". It was true, my brain shut down temporarily as the news hit me like a tonne of bricks, but it was essentially what was happening to my internal organs, just at a very painful and slow rate. I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer  - I never believed anything like this could ever happen to me, but who does? At thirteen, I didn't even know the purpose of the thyroid, all I knew was that mine was attacking me and wanting me to die. 

Within days of diagnosis, my life came to a standstill. I had to leave school and attend classes at a local community college when my health permitted. My social life dwindled, with the odd friend coming to visit me every now and again, but with time decreased to a measly one - Kaitlyn. This didn't just happen to me, but my mom too, she had to leave work to devote all of her time and attention to me and my constant hospital appointments. I felt like a burden, this put a huge strain on my father, who now was the sole provider for our family. 

Being trapped in my home  sucked. I was totally reliant on an oxygen trolley, which was ultimately keeping me alive, as well as all the pain relief medication. My mom was good company, but nothing like my old school friends. My mother was desperate for me to get some sort of 'normality' back into my life, so arranged for me to attend a weekly childhood cancer support group. I was so hesitant to go, as I didn't want to burden anybody else with my situation and thought that I wouldn't fit in, or that nobody would be interested, but after much persuasion from my parents telling me that everybody there would be in the similar position, I reluctantly  turned up, oxygen trolley in tow. 

I was introduced to the group and I timidly said few details about myself: "I am Hazel Lancaster, I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer when I was thirteen and yes, I have to pull this trolley around with me wherever I go". I got a warm welcome from the entire group, which was made up of people from children to late teenagers. I got to learn a lot about cancer... how many young lives it can affect and how these kids let cancer affect them. Once I returned to the comfort of the car, my parents immediately asked how it was, I replied "eye opening" .  After this point, I continued to go every Wednesday afternoon and quickly became something I looked forward to. Being excited for something had been something I missed since being diagnosed. There were now no: surprise trips to the milkshake parlour, or to the beach, I couldn't really call another MRI scan an excitement. As my Chemotherapy started, the waves of nausea and exhaustion hit, I can't describe it, I was bed bound and slept the majority of the time. My hair began to fall out at a rapid rate and that was when I realised I was really a cancer patient, this was real and not just a horrific nightmare, but I wasn't going to let this disease take over, I was ready to fight and with the backing of my family and the support group I was more determined than ever. And that was what I did.