broken

Dear society,

You're so fucked up. Honestly our generation is so fucked up its sad. Everyone has to be perfect: flawless skin, not to skinny but not fat, has to have boobs and a butt or abs, perfect white straight smile, perfect laugh, long hair, follows trends, wears just enough makeup. No one can ever just be themselves, you won't be accepted then. Then your parents want perfect grades, perfect friends, always smiling, stays out of drama, a perfect image. I'm done trying to be good enough for everyone because I never will be, not even for myself. I'm a waste of space... Why am I still here, breathing, using other people's oxygen. You see society made us so screwed up, we can't even be happy when we look in the mirror. We starve ourself to be the right size, we cut or burn to feel something. Whats the point to keep living when all you feel is that you're worthless, empty, fat, ugly, pathetic. I'm sorry but I'm done.

bye, ally

Dear best friend,

haha this is what it's come too. Taking my own life because I feel it's the only way out from this insanity. I'm sorry I can't do this anymore. I broke to many times but this time I can't be fixed, I can't put the pieces back together. I'm sorry I couldn't stay strong for you. But I'm tired of being someone I'm not, I'm tired of trying. Trying to keep breathing and living. I'm alone, I'm empty, I'm numb, I'm done. No one understands, no one cares and I mean why would they I'm no one special. I'm just another screwed up teen with depression. What's the point to keep breathing if the only thing that makes me feel alive is making myself a canvas and my razor the brush. I watch the blood race down my arms, wrists, hips, thighs, ankles, stomach, it's all just so addicting. I can't stop, I won't. I don't want help, I don't wanna be fixed. I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye to your face, but you have this note. I knew you would try to stop me and I don't wanna be stopped. I'm done. goodbye. I'm sorry.

xoxo Ally

Dear parents,

Do you even care? probably not. You guys never did.

kiley(stepmom): haha you fucking suck. You're the reason I became like this. I'm sure you won't care at all. Once I'm gone you can just go sell all my stuff for money for drugs like you usually do. You cheat on my dad with his best friends, you fuck my friends. You're a bitch who read my diary and beat me. Guess you win, congrats. goodbye. -ally

Louis(stepdad): I know you'll probably be drunk or raping another little girl when you're reading this. Just know you screwed me up, you hurt me physically. you held me down and.... you still give me nightmares. how can you live with yourself. just know you broke me and you finished me. goodbye. -ally

Mom: I love you, but you don't really love me. All you ever did was judge me and took me to mental hospitals to make your life easier. all you did was work. I never saw you and when you got home you went to bed. you won't notice I'm gone, it won't make a difference In your life. xoxoxo. goodbye -ally

dad- You beat me, you locked me In closets for days. You laugh when I tell you it hurts, you hit me and hit me till I'm unconscious. you say you wanna kill me, you say I'm worthless and a mistake. you nearly killed me but this time I'm gonna kill myself. goodbye -ally.