It's the first day of school, and here I am. All alone. I stare at the disgusting food in front of me. It's not that it's school food, I just don't like any kind of food. I smear the cheese off of the dough covered in tomato sauce with a plastic fork. I try to take a small bite of the salad in front of me, but I can't seem to swallow it. I leave the tray there and rush to the bathroom, away from the nasty food. I run into a stall and fall to my knees, spitting the food out of my mouth, trying to get rid of the taste. I then use two fingers and shove them to the back of my throat, hitting my gag reflex. But that's all I do. I thrust my fingers in again, but nothing is coming out.
"Come on!" I whisper. I do it one last time and I finally feel something come up. My throat burns as I spit the clear acid into the toilet. I cough and heave in air, trying to ease the burn. But then I stop trying, realizing I deserve the pain. It's all my fault. I wrap my hands around around my neck, slowly squeezing harder as the seconds go by. I can feel the heat in my face as I feel a welcoming lightness come over my head, clouding all of my thoughts. This is what I've been waiting for, what I deserve. But all too soon, I hear a faint scream that must be miles away. All too soon, my thoughts were gathering in my mind once again as hands unwrapped mine from my neck. My head feels like it's too heavy for my shoulders that can't hold all of the weight.
"ARE YOU OKAY?" The voice behind me was too shrill and loud for my liking. I find a way to stand on my feet and as I turn around I see a short girl with big blue eyes staring up at me.
"W-why are you in-in the girls bathr-room? And why ar-re you d-doing this to yourself?" She stuttered, her eyes filling with tears. I don't answer, I just lightly push her out of the way and catch something in the corner of my eye in the mirror. I stop and look.
My dark brown curls are sprawled against my forehead at random, my entire face is slightly red, my once electric green eyes are now dull and have dark bags under them, my cheeks are stained with tears, and my lips are dry and cracked. On my neck, I can see a light purples outline of two thumbs, one atop of the other. As I slowly turn my head, I see the other four fingers, outlined in the same purple, all interlocked with one another.
I take one last look and turn away from the mirror, walking into the cafeteria to find it empty. I pull my hood around the back of my neck to try to cover as much of the bruising area as possible. I then tuck my chin into the front of my sweatshirt and walk to my next class.
I eventually find my science class and search for a seat to sit in towards the back of the room but all of them are taken.
"I take it you are Mr... Harry Styles?" I gave the middle aged man a slight nod. "May I ask why you were late?"
"No." I quietly murmured. Hoping he would just leave me alone and that everyone would stop staring at me already.
"Hmmm. I see.. Well. You will have to sit in the very front, next to me. Right there." He pointed his finger to an empty seat I hadn't noticed before. I slid my feet across the linoleum floor to the seat next to his desk. In front of the whole class. I slouched into the chair and stared at the whiteboard.
"Alright class. I am going to be your science teacher this year. My name is Mr.Carter..." He continued going on and on about this year's syllabus. I didn't listen to words he was saying, I just continued staring at the whiteboard wondering what would have happened if that girl hadn't stopped me.
After what felt like hours, the bell finally rang. I didn't feel like going to my other classes so I walked out the front doors of the school and straight to my car. I sat down in the driver's seat and relaxed my shoulders.
There was a slight pain in my neck so I looked at the dark purple hands around my neck in the rear view mirror. I unlocked the glovebox in front of the passengers seat and dug around until I found the small plastic bag that I needed.
I pulled up the sleeves of my sweatshirt, showing me everything I had done wrong. I opened the small bag and pulled out the razor that would give me what I deserve. I take the razor and push it gently against my wrist. I pushed harder until the skin broke under my pressure. Resulting in droplets of blood running down my arms as tears did the same down my cheeks.
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A/N;
Hey guys, did you like it?? Sorry it's so depressing. I cried while writing this :c idek what to put here..
