Love is ugly

The heartbreak

Losing you broke me. It hurt me like I've never been before. All I care about is that I am still in love with you and it hurts inside that i still think about all those late night calls and texts. Hell, I even think about the time I fell for you. I need you to need me again. It hurts to to think I could never have that heart of yours again. It hurts deep down inside, to a place where I can't even reach to heal. Is- is it so bad that i miss you, even though we still see eachother every day? I miss you and it hurts my heart. I just want what was mine in my arms! I could hold you for the rest of my life... and I hope you know I will do everything and anything for you. Maybe, just maybe I'm selfish for wanting you, when you may... not even want me anymore. It hurts to think that, but its the truth. I don't want closure or to forget. I just want that beautiful and perfect person i fell so deeply in love with. I want tjose late night calls. I want all of our texts. But ... its just too much to ask for your everything. I need you a little more each day I don't have you. Maybe you'll read this and if you are ... I love you with all of my heart and all i want is you. I would be able to smile for the rest of my days if I could hear one of your "I love yous" turn into a "Im in love with you"! That would truly mean the world to me. Your so special and you are worth it all! But ... There's one thing that has torn me apart. Hearing you have found someone else. I didn't want to believe it, but its true. Everything that was mine could be someone else's. Someone could be the one to make you laugh. And smile ... Make you feel the love I so crave from you. Your "Im in love with you" won't be for me ... But for them. Your hugs and kisses, hell, even those late night calls and texts could be for someone you are happy with. But someone is sitting there, listening to you talk about him with love in your eyes. While that person is screaming on the inside "Please stop ... I love you!" But ... They cant do anything. They are left powerless. And that person ... Is me. I just wanna ... Hell, i dont even know what i want to do anymore. Im so stupid that i lost all i could ever want and need. All im left with is a sign that says "I lost" nailed to my broken heart ...