Patient: Kelly Hall
Diagnosis: Unknown
Thursday, October 4th. 3:30 PM
I look up from my notepad to glance at the time. The only thing written on the paper is the date and time in the top right corner. "Our time is about up." I sigh. She looks at me like she's trying to tell me something, but I can't exactly read her expression. "Anything you say is between just you and me. You know that, right?"
Kelly only nods in reply.
She gets up from the chair, nods her thanks, and leaves my office.
I don't want to admit I'm losing hope with this patient, but if she continues to just sit here in silence, I can't help her. You really can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped in the first place. Her father has continuously tried to clue me in on her behaviors at home, but I can't diagnose her until I can discuss with her what's going on in her head.
I step out of my office. "Mr. Hall." I call to Kelly's father as he's about to step out the door, "I need a quick word with you."
"Nothing's changed." Mr. Hall tells me as he sits in the chair in front of my desk. "Kelly's doing poorly in school. When she's at home, she stays in her room. She doesn't go out, she doesn't talk to anyone." He pauses to run his hands over his face, giving me the impression he's given up on her. "I'm at a loss with her, doctor. Do you think Kelly's beyond hope?"
"I believe there's hope for her." I assure him, though I feel as though I'm still trying to convince myself of that. "Kelly needs to admit she needs help, to both herself and I. I think I'm starting to get through to her."
"Do you really think so?" Mr. Hall asks.
"I wholeheartedly do." I tell him. "Bring Kelly back next week. Same time."
Thursday, October 11th. 3:02 pm
Kelly sat through yet another session, which went as normal. I ask questions as Kelly sits in silence. She always has the look of wanted to talk, but she seems to lack the emotional energy to do so.
"Kelly." I say, "Is there anything you want to tell me? Anything at all? I want to help you."
Kelly shifts her silent gaze from the floor to me. I can feel her deep green eyes stare at me, and I feel as though they're almost telling me something. Like they're telling me everything.
I sigh. "I can only help you if you want my help."
Kelly's gaze shifts yet again to her hands, which are nearly folded in her lap.
I look at my watch. "Our session for today is over."
Thursday, October 11th. 8:17 PM
I finally get to relax in my favorite chair with my cat, read, and forget the stress of the day. On most nights, the tales of love overcoming all the odds that linger in between the pages numb the stress of listening to people's problems, and coming up with answers. But something feels different tonight.
My mind can't seem to stay on the page. I start to read, and then my mind starts to wonder. I'm not quite sure what it's wandering to, but it for sure isn't what's printed on the page.
My husband takes a seat next to me.
"I haven't seen that look in your eyes for so long." He says to me. "What's on your mind?"
"A patient." I reply, not wanting to say too much.
"Is it that one that won't speak? Kelly, right?" I'm slightly surprised he remembered that much. I close my book.
"She's been on my mind all night." I confess to him. "I feel like something isn't right with her."
As my beloved opens his mouth to respond, the phone rings.
He picks up the phone.
"Hello? ... Yes?.... Oh... Oh dear.... I'll let her know right away!"
"Who was it, dear?" I ask.
"Mr. Hall." He answers. "It's about Kelly."
Thursday, October 11th. 8:43 PM
Mr. Hall was waiting for me by the front door when I arrived. I get to him as fast as I can.
"I'm sorry." He says to me, "I didn't know who else to call, or what else to do."
"It's fine." I tell him. "Where is she?"
"She locked herself in the upstairs bathroom."
I hear a bloodcurdling scream come from upstairs. It's full of anguish and distress.
"Call an ambulance!" I yell as I run up the stairs. "Kelly?" I shout as I bang on the door. "Kelly! Open the door!" I hear water running from over the sink and onto the floor, the sound of a small piece of metal hit the tile, followed by a thud.
As I hear the siren of the ambulance, I kick the bathroom door in. I find Kelly laying almost lifeless on the floor. Her wrists are covered in deep gashes, flowing with blood. The paramedics make their way up the stairs as I say a prayer, hoping that her life may be spared.
Friday, October 12th. 11:23 AM.
"How is she doing?" I ask.
"Much better than last night." The doctor tells me. "She's awake, if you want to see her."
I nod, and the doctor leads me to Kelly's room.
She seems so fragile, even more so than usual. Her wrists are bandaged up.
As I lay my hand on her arm, she opens her eyes and looks at me.
"Kelly..." I say. "I didn't ever want it to come to this. "
She looks away.
"Help me to help you, Kelly. Say something to me."
Kelly closes her eyes, and shuts me out. Nothing has changed.
Tuesday, October 23rd. 4:27 PM
It was just a normal day at work. I saw most of my Tuesday patients, and the day had gone by as expected.
I had gone back to see Kelly as often as I could until she was discharged on Sunday. But I was no closer to getting her to talk than I was the first time she was in my office.
As I get ready to leave and go home, I hear a soft knock on the door. I wonder who it could be.
I open the door, and the last person I expect to see is standing before me.
Kelly.
"Doctor," she said in a frail little voice. "I want your help. I want to tell you everything."
I smile. "Please, come into my office."
