Sleepwalking (An Oliver Sykes fanfiction)*COMPLETED*

Please talk to me

I went to sleep, thinking that Oliver would be there but he wasn't. It made me really sad that he wasn't. Another bummer was that it was Sunday, I had nothing to do. I'm gonna try to talk to Oliver.

'Oil, can I talk to you.' I mentally ask him.

But the only response I got was silence. I sent him texts, but got no response, I called him, but only to be left with a voicemail. Does he not want me anymore? I can't think he would, he said he loves me, he told me he never wants me to leave. But why isn't he taking to me? I'm getting depressed again. Oil made me happy, but I can't hear him, or even talk to him. I really didn't want to do something that I did in the past. But if this keeps up it might happen. I sigh sadly, he's not gonna talk to me. I get up and make my way to the living room.

As I walk out I see my mom. I smile slightly, yes my mom did make me happy, but not as much as Oliver did.

"Hey mom." I said quietly.

"Hey Abby. You ok?" She asked rubbing my back.

"Yea I'm fine." I replied, emotionless.

"You sure? You look like you wanna just break down and cry." She put her hands on the sides of my face.

I really did want to cry, I just let my self go. Tears falling fast from my eyes, I sobbed so hard I almost lost my balance.

"Oh honey." She pulled me in her arms and held me tight. Like what a mother would do.

I cried in my mothers chest for a while, when she finally asked me what was wrong.

"What's the matter sweetie?" She said softly.

"Life is just so hard mom." I managed to say through sobs.

"Why is life so hard honey?" She asked softly again.

I moved to look up at her. "Just people, I don't understand them." I explained.

"Why? Did you go through a break up or something." She wiped my tears away softly.

"Something like that." I sigh, "He just stopped taking to me! I try to talk to him but he won't reply! I really loved him mom." I said sobbing at the end.

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. If I were you, just let him go, I know that sounds hard to do, but maybe it's for the best. You know what I had to put through when dad left." She said running her fingers through my hair, calming me.

I can't leave Oliver! He makes me happy! I need him! I promised him I would never leave him, I'm keeping that promise!

I pull away from my mom and looking at her with hurt in my tear filled eyes. "I can't leave him mom! He's to important to me!" I shout.

"Honey lower you voice..-"

"NO!" I cut her off. "I CAN'T LEAVE HIM MOM! I PROMISED HIM I WOULDN'T!" I screamed.

"Honey please don't yell at me." She said as calmly as she could.

I just shake my head and run off to my room. I grab my shoes and my bag full of things that I needed the most. I put my shoes on and a sweatshirt, I had to go to the bathroom to get one more thing.

My blade.

I haven't used it for a long time. The time I started was when my dad left. I stoped after Alice told me I had things to live for and that I shouldn't give up. Well I thought I wouldn't use it ever again, but that started again today. I open my window and carefully close it but still wide enough for my to open again. I sneak my way out, thank god for a one story house. Once my feet hit the ground, I immediately stared to run, to the one place that always calmed me. The woods. I try my best to maneuver my way around broken tree stumps and bushes. I had a place I always went to when I was sad. It had a nice view of the city, and only I knew about it, I think.

I finally got there, I sat on the rock that had my initials on it. I set my bag down and looked at the beautiful city, I smile. I look up at the sky, I wish I was a bird. I wanna be free and fly away when things get to crazy. I look back down again and sigh. I look over at my bag and pull out my notebook full of poems and songs that would make before I would cut myself. Yea I know I shouldn't do it but I can't help it, if Oliver doesn't want me anymore, what would I do? I come up with a poem called 'Acid'

Someone help me, I am here and I am there.
My tears feel like acid, burning my skin as they fall.
You can see the marks, why won't anyone help?
Make me feel again, make things right.
Someone save me from this nightmare.

I like it, that's how I feel when all my tears fall. I hate it when I cry, it shows how weak I am. I guess that's why I cry all the time. I'm weak, no wonder Oliver doesn't want to be with me anymore. I come up with another poem called 'numb'

I'm numb.
I feel nothing.
Everything is a blur as I pass by.
I don't remember how I felt before.
My heart and soul, ripped out of my chest.
Death was waiting for me, but I still held on.
How much longer can I take this pain?
Months, years, eternity?
Something help me, to release all my pain.
I'm screaming for help, but no one can hear.
I'm nothing but a face in the crowd.
Sad and hopeless, facing death everywhere I went.
No one was there to help me.
I ended it all, by making a single deep cut to the wrist.
Blackness was surrounding me, everywhere I looked.
It was nice, death is peaceful.

That was how I felt on the inside. Numb. I can't help but only feel numb. I close my journal and put it back in my bag. The next thing I pull out was the one thing that could cure my pain. I roll up my sleeves and see the years work of scars that I made on my body. I'm not pretty, I'm ugly. I put the blade in place and hold my breath. I slide it across my wrist making me squeak. I do more as I thought about the things nobody liked about me. I made 35 new scars. I watched the blood run out of the open wounds, emotionless. My senses finally kicked in, what had I done. I drop to my knees and let tears fall from my eyes.

"Why did I do this." I mutter myself.

The wounds were still stinging, blood still coming out. I heard a rustle in the bushes. My head shot over to the sound. What am I gonna do!? Who ever will see will think I'm crazy and I should kill myself right then and there. I look back down at my scars and brace myself for what's to come.

I heard the person gasp, "Abby..."

I shot my eyes wide open, I knew that British voice anywhere. I look over at him and frown.

"Oli I..."

~~~~
Hey. There was that chapter. Sorry for the self harm part. If you cut yourself, please don't do it anymore, there are people that care and love you, cutting is never the opinion. By the way those poems that were written, I came up with those like right on the spot. Anyway I'll try to update as soon as I can. xoxo :3 (word count: 1329)