See Oh Ell Oh Are: Gee Are Ee Ee En

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Freaks.

I never really found myself in my first year of middle school.

My friends kinda sucked, and I also sucked. I came into middle school and your average weeb. I liked video games and "horror", and was a huge anime nerd. I met this girl named Khu, who is actually still my friend to this day. I wanted to hang out with her, but I also liked hanging out with this other girl. Let's call her Gina. Now Gina was the Emo girl of the school. In my opinion, she was really pretty and I wanted to be like her. Gina had a lot of family issues, and had been abused in the past, and was sometimes still abused to that time. Gina was what influenced my Emo phase. It was a misery loves company type situation. Another girl tried influencing me, and let's call her Jamie. Jamie was aggressive, and loud. I honestly labeled her as more punk rock than Emo. But she was Emo, and liked to lecture me all about how I should and shouldn't be. Like "Emos aren't nice, they don't share." And, "All of us are violent, and we all want to kill people and die." I didn't like this. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but to have their friendship, I needed to put up this facade. And so I did.

There was this guy that I kinda had a thing for. Let's call him Chris. Chris was a popular boy, and I knew him from elementary school. He acted like an idiot a lot, but I couldn't see it.

It was actually because of him that I ended up screwing up a lot in maths class. He sat next to me, and we constantly joked and did funny stuff. Looking back on it, I realize how dumb I was.

He was also the reason for a lot of bullying that happened. But luckily, my maths teacher saw through my facade, and was there to help me.

After January, I died my hair green.

At the time, it was my favorite color. A lot of people have me crap for it, but I really liked green, and so I didn't care.

I do remember being friends with these two other girls. They were kinda popular too. And when I had a falling out with Gina and Jamie, I'd go to them. Their names were... how about Alice and Ann? Alice was a tall blonde, and Ann was a short dirty blonde. They both actually hated me and liked to make fun of me, but I didn't know that. My science teacher did, and that was because Ann, Alice, and I had that class together. He knew that we were "friends", but that they weren't very nice to me at all.

He also tried helping me with this stuff. And honestly, it worked. And to this day, I still love him.

I started doing things to be friends with Gina and Jamie. They told me that if I didn't, I was a poser, and I sucked.

Also that year, I had an Instagram account. I posted some of my old edgy art, which I might actually end up showing you someday.

I knew a guy on there. His nickname was Joe, and he was transgender. I also had a friend named Bailey, and there were a couple other friend's I had. Together, I nicknamed us the iNSaNiTy Squad!, and we even had a chant. My oc at the time, Mickaeyla, was madly in love with Joe's oc, Eyeless Joe. She was "yandere" for him. I remember being HECKBENT on dating him. Then he "broke my heart" by dating Bailey. My best friend. This all happened while I was away from Instagram, because I was slipping away from the things that were important. I never ended up getting it back, into the beginning of my seventh grade year. But that's another story.

Anyways, my oc was probably the edgiest Mary Sue ever. She really affected my 6th grade life. See, she was this Emo girl, and she had depression and was a psychopath. I started labeling myself as those, even though they can't be farther from the truth. I don't mean this in an offensive way, but I have never been diagnosed with a mental illness.

So thing got out of hand. From here on, it gets blurry. But I remember that at the end of the year, the Emo part of me started to stray. And eventually, I guess, 6th grade Shay died.

And what a glorious death it was.