ok so im like a total fan of jls they are my inspirations. I never stopped loving them ! but one day that all changed. it was a school morning and I was dreading to get out of bed as any other 14 year old would. anyway I popped on my ugly school uniform and ran down stairs as I put my toast in the toaster my mom gave me a worrying look ? "whats wrong mom" I asked in a confusing tone of voice. "didnt you not hear"she replied. OK now I was really confused as I buttered my toast."no I don't know what your on about mom! tell me"I replied."well I have just heard on the radio that jls have split up"she said."hahahaha good one mom" I replied in a fit of laughter."im seirious Cliona it was on about 5 minutes ago should be back on soon" she said."fine ill wait and see if this is true. 15 minutes passed by and I was still waiting chewing on another slice of toast "boyband JLS announced there split up" I couldn't believe it I was too upset to stay and listen to any more of it ! I felt so sick but yet so empty!
how could they do this ? why is this happening ? I questioned myself ?
I was now on my bed crying a river my mom came up but I refused to talk to her or anyone ! iv just lost everything I really loved. it was now 8:30 and the worst thing about today was that I had to go to school. everyone in school knew how much I was obsessed with JLS and made fun of them and called them gay I just ignore them but I couldn't handle the pain I was feeling as I walked into the school doors and I tried so hard to stay strong and to hold in my tears but soon enough I burst out crying everyone watched as my best friend Sarah was there to comfort me without her I didnt know what to do ! in class boys laughed at me and they were all singing "beat again" I tried to ignore them one boy came over to me and said "is your heart not gonna beat again Cliona" I just sat still as my tears fell down my face "don't waste your tears on a gay band that couldn't sing for there lives" the boy added ! I got up and lost control as I punched him into the stomach everyone ran over in shock ! luckily the teacher wasnt here to see it happen. I grabbed my bag and ran out balling crying why did I do that ? I was usually shy and harmless! I guess the split was really getting to me ! I sat on the cold ground outside my school when suddenly the principle approached me with an angry face on her she noticed I was crying and asked what was wrong "nothing" I replied as the tears heavily swooped down my cheeks "you have to tell me Cliona? you just hit a student thats not good" she replied ...I looked up at her and said "nothings ever good is it I hate my life and I hate this pathetic school" I screamed ...I got up and ran as far as possible. I found myself lying under the tree in the local park I shoved my headphones in my ears and put on proud.listening to jls made everything worst!!! I remember I could listen to jls and smile. now I cry. it hurts me so much that they are splitting up. an hour later I was still crying under the tree when I heard a voice behind me calling my name "Cliona" I turned to see conner walking towards me.conner was a guy who I knew from school I have had a crush on him for ages :o he is such a sweet guy not like the rest of the idiot boys "um hey" I mutterd. "have you been crying " he said as he sat beside me."umm yeah" I answered. I was so embarrassed I was crying in front of my crush !?! he looked at me in a sad way "I have heard about jls and I know how much you loved them but please don't cry I hate seeing you upset" he whispered. I couldn't believe he said that :o did he like me too ? I hope sooo ..... "why are you so concerned connor and why arent you laughing at me like everyone else is" I said. he pushed more beside me as his warm arm was now touching against mine. "Im concerned because you mean alot to me and I dont want you to be upset" he said as his cheeks went rose red. his brown hair swifted in the wind and I got lost in his beautiful perfect eyes!!!! "really no guy has ever said that to me" I said looking down onto the grass. he grabbed my arm before I could say anything else. "what happened he said while looking at the scars that were on my arms. "nothing" I said nervously. before I knew it he pulled me into a tight hug and said "please dont harm yourself baby" I had no words left my crush was hugging me and calling me baby!!!!!!! I let go of him and saw a group of boys walk past "aww the poor baby is still crying over that gay band" they yelled. I grabbed my phone and bag off the grass and ran away."cliona " I could hear conner scream my name. I was now at home but the house was empty my mom was still in work. I ran to my room and ripped every single jls poster I had and that was alot ! awhile later I went onto my laptop and checked my Facebook there was a message from conner it said "were are you" I replied saying "im at home" he asked can he come over and seeing that my mom was it work I said yes. an hour later the doorbell rang I ran down stairs and let him in. "come up to my room" I said. I just remembered how weird that sounded but anyway. we were both now sitting on my bed he glanced around at all the ripped posters of jls on the ground. "soo" I said. he looked up at me with his perfect blue eyes and smiled "your so beautiful" he whispered. my heart was pounding inside me I had never felt as happy as this in years !!!! "im not" I giggled. "do think low of yourself I think your perfect he said. I placed my hands around his warm neck as he already had his hands on my hips he then leaned into me and kiss me so passionatly I kissed him back ! it felt so amazing ...soo real... soo perfect.as the kiss came to an end he looked me in the eyes and said "I love you" Cliona. my heart was racing as he said those words. "I love you too" I replied with a smile
a month later...............
its been a month now and me and conner are still going out. I still feel upset about jls but my mom bought me tickets for the goodbye tour so I went with conner ! its was soo emotional and I was crying a flood ! I still love each of the jls so much and for my birthday I got Union j tickets I love Union j so much and 5SOS x I can tell that they wont be breaking my heart any time soon haha x
its finally Saturday and im in my best friend Aislings house with my other two best friends Emer and Sharon were getting ready to go down town to a disco. "this dress would be so nice on you hot pink is so your colour I said as I threw the dress to aisling. the girls were all single and I didn't know why because they are so beautiful.tonight was for them to find a boy. I wish Conner was here to come with us :( but he is on holiday in Spain with his family ! he has only been gone 2 days and im missing him like hell :( I was wearing a really tight short blue dress and the girls looked amazing in there dresses now all we had to do now was our makeup.
we were now in the club and I was sitting up at the bar as I watched Aisling dancing with a really hot guy. then I saw Sharon snogging a randomer :O and Emer was sat next to a guy chatting away. looks like they all were having fun. my mom gave me €50 and told me to spend it wisley !!!! but me being my stupid self bought so much drink that I got kicked out of the club for cursing at the manager because he wouldn't give me anymore drink.
I was now sitting on the cold cold ground outside the club. "hey" a voice said. I turned around to see that Conners best friend George was bending down onto the floor beside me."um hey" I gasped to him."are you okay Cliona" he said in a concerned voice. "yup" I said while patting him on the head. he stood up and put out his hand "come on im calling you a taxi because your very very drunk" he muttered.I grabbed his hand as he pulled me up. we were now sitting in the back of the taxi and I rested my head on georges lap. love you more by jls came on the radio I burst out crying!!!! "turn it off" I screamed at the taxi man. "cli calm down" George whispered. "stop the taxi now im getting out of here" I mumbled.
" oh god" George said as he followed me out of the taxi. George carried me on his back ? I had no clue where we were going I was just really drunk
the next morning...........
I woke up in a different bed. "where am I" I taught to myself. suddenly george entered the room with some aspirin and orange juice.I was so confused ??? he sat at the side of the bed and explained the whole story to me. we laughed for ages before I said "so nothing happened between me and you last night" ? "no" he laughed. "oh phew I gasped feeling relieved.
*2 weeks later*
I now have the house to myself for the week for my mom and dad are having a romantic week off in Italy for their anniversary. I was so bored so I decided to invite my friends over :D I got changed into shorts and a tank top with my hair up in a messy bun.
finally Sharon Emer Aisling Conner and Kieran arrived with piles of food. Aisling and conner quickly ran over to get to the good couch and plopped themselves down on it. I couldn't help but laugh. we were all seated while stuffing our faces with food watching monti carlo. after it was ended Kieran commented "what a chick flick" at that stage Sharon threw her shoe at him. "what do ye wanna do now guys" I said as I cuddled into conner."truth or dare" emer screamed. we all agreed and sat in a circle on the floor. "me first" Kieran squelched sounding like a little girl. "Cliona ...truth or dare"he asked me "hmm truth" I said
"is it true that you cut yourself" he said as everyone stared at me. "you told them" I said in tears to Conner. "babe no I mean I did but I didn't mean to " he replied. I felt so hurt ! so upset and soo angry :( I taught conner was the only one I could trust .....I guess not "please go everyone" I said as they all left besides conner .
"fuck off conner you idiot" I screamed at him.
