I feel like there is nothing to live for. She makes my heart race. Idk how but she does. She rebuilds my broken heart. Stronger, happier,and actually caring about things. She makes me happy to live. Abuse to me is nothing anymore it's like it's a part of me. I really don't pay attention to it anymore. Being a center in basketball means I'm not the best dribbler. I get made fun of in practice games. I honestly find it funny because if they were to 1v1 me they would lose. I would know I have beaten my team in 1v1s. Doesn't matter anyway I mean what are my chances of getting into the NBA anyways I'm supposed to be 6.3. Even in highschool is going to be hard. But why wouldn't it be,like c'mon its HIGHSCHOOL. Doesn't matter anyway. I'll find another life to live. I don't look like I get bullied (probably cuz I don't and I'm just bitching about life) but I sometimes feel like I do. It's fine though because the ppl in my class know if they go to far they are being hospitalised. (I'm not a threat really) Depression really pushes me... Ik ppl have it worse but I don't have it good either. I intimidate pll. Even my girlfriend lol. But I sometimes just want to be alone with my tears. Get a little more used to jackasses who try to knock me down. I have someone to live for,and goals to accomplish. At least try to live right. Nobody's going to live a perfect life. But I realized we are the people who can choose to live a happy life or a shitty life. You just got to put in the work.
It's hard being hated for falling in love. Or being made fun for falling in love with a person who you WANT to be with no matter what size she is. Ppl just don't notice the things the other ppl have in common with themselves. It's hard to show them how when they don't care enough to listen to you... It's fine because only what YOU think and only what and who YOU care about matters. Because no matter what you do, you WILL make a difference not in the world, but in other people's lives. I learned this the hard way.
