Love Me, Hate Me

Hey, I'm Xenia Marcus and I'm 16 years old. I'm about 5'3 1/2, I'm light skinned, green eyes, big, long, curly, black afro, round face, chubby cheeks, dimples, and big, full lips. I have very large breasts, large thighs, and a fat ass with a not-so-flat stomach. I have back dimples, a tattoo of black and purple roses that start on my right thigh and run up to my right front hip, a red and gold butterfly on my left calf, and my late mother's name, "Kalea," across the inside of my wrist in cursive with an infinity symbol under it. I love my life and I've never been anything less than myself at all times. I love to cook and I love to eat even more. I've never been one to shy away from a plate of food. I love trying new recipes and making them myself is even better. I practically grew up in a kitchen but the downside to that was the constant jokes, ridicule, and suffering that came with it. I had to deal with schoolmates, associates, family members, and so on telling me how fat I was and with me being fat came me being ugly and unlovable. I was hated for being myself and looking the way I do. I was beaten and made fun of and I never could escape the way people made me feel. It made me hate what I saw in the mirror and it made me reach a point of depression where I did unspeakable things to try and numb the pain. One day, I just shut it all off. I shut off my emotions and I shut out everyone who made me feel the way I feel. I learned to trust me and only me; I learned to love nobody; I learned that the only person who got me.....is me.