Alive ❧ c.yj ♡ p.jh

1 《Alive... But Dead》

*Youngjae's POV*

"Leave me alone, Jihyo," I said, curling up in my room. I have the door locked, but she just won't stop banging on my door.

"Seriously what is wrong with you?! You keep locking yourself up! IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS, JUST COME OUT!" She yelled.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shouted at the door.

Silence filled the apartment we rented together, until I heard her quietly sobbing outside.

"Please..." She whispered, fingers tracing the door as she leaned her shoulder against it.

Don't go out. Don't go out. Don't go out.

I kept telling myself, but I still unlocked the door and opened it, revealing a lifeless Jihyo.

"Jihyo..." I knelt down and embraced her into my arms as tears started to stream down my cheeks as well.

"How could you just leave me alone for so many years?! And when you finally came back you locked yourself up! HOW COULD YOU?!" She screamed as she started beating my chest.

"I'm sorry-"

"SORRY CAN'T MAKE UP ALL THOSE PAIN I WENT THROUGH!" She pushed me away harshly and left the house.

I clenched my fists and just stayed there, already numb to the pain.

You certainly don't know what pain really feels like, Jihyo.

-

*Jihyo's POV*

I was walking around a small park as a cool breeze swept across my face. I pulled up my hood and sat on a bench.

Calm down Jihyo... You can do this. I told myself while taking deep breaths. Another drop of tear ran down my cheeks and I wiped it away harshly with my sleeve. The sky was blue, mixed with a hint of orange as this side of the earth escaped from the sun.
Children are yelling and laughing happily, while their parents sat by, chatting with each other. They looked so untroubled and contented, making me wonder how they deal with their own life. How do they deal with their problems? Stress? Worries?
A kid ran towards a woman, who I suppose is his mom, and embraced her into a tight hug. The older looked shocked at first, but her expression was soon replaced by a bright smile as she hugged him back and ruffled his hair.
They were so blessed that I couldn't help but envy them. Where are my parents? Where is my family?
I stood up from the bench I was sitting on and sighed, not able to deal with all the happiness I am seeing. Again, my eyes were watered and my vision became blurry. I raised my hand and wiped it away rather calmly, and took another deep breath before heading back home.

It was starting to get late.

-

I opened the door, but the living room was dark. I peeked into Youngjae's room, but no one was there either.

The only light source came from the bathroom. "Youngjae?" I said nervously as I checked.

He was lying lifelessly on the floor, with a large amount of blood dripping down from his wrist.

"YOUNGJAE!" I screamed and immediately called the ambulance as I checked his newly cut wounds carefully. They were deeper than the previous ones, and they spoke so much to me. What I'm experiencing really isn't what he's going through right now.
I bandaged his wrists as best as I could and dragged him out, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

-

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked as the doctor walked out of the room.

"Hope so, he's not in a good condition now, but we managed to keep him breathing. He lost a lot of blood." He paused and checked his notes. "And I recommend getting him a therapist. He's mentally ill. And suicidal as well."
I quickly thanked him and frowned. How bad is his condition? What did he actually go through to make him like this?

-

*Youngjae's POV*

I slowly opened my eyes, knowing that I'm in the hospital again, the place I spent 4 years in.
The white walls, slightly blue curtains, old television, tiny red couch...

What does it mean to be alive? I thought about this question for the thousandth time. I'm breathing, but my heart is dead. It was crushed to pieces, and Jihyo-my best friend, won't be able to help me fix it.

I sighed and pulled up the sleeves of the thin hospital clothing, revealing my scars that will never disappear.

The scars, that trapped all the memories of my worst nightmare.

The scars, that marked the worst days of my life.

The scars, that lead me to where I am now.

The cuts, that couldn't kill me.

The cuts, that will stay with me until the end, the real end.

The cuts, that no one knew about... until now.

-
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Hope you enjoyed the very first chapter of 《Alive》
I legit spent so much time thinking about the plot heh
Well leave comments about what you think~
I'll try my best to update daily, but don't kill me if I don't ><

THANK YOU FOR READING, VOTE, COMMENT AND SHAREEEE
-SoLiA (hopes someone will read this)