Hope - Clarke & Madi || The 100

VI

"I will always remember the next time I saw her."

Clarke confidently walked into Lexa's tent, not caring to ask for entrance. "You sent for me?"

There was a heavy silence around them while Lexa took a moment to study her. "Yes," she said and her mouth twitched slightly. "Octavia has nothing to fear from me."

She looked away, but Clarke kept her eyes on her. She was suspicious and that wasn't weird. Lexa had lied before.

"I do trust you, Clarke," Lexa said.

A little surprised, she took a step towards Lexa. She didn't trust people easily and Clarke knew that. But she believed her. "I know how hard that is for you," she said genuinely.

Lexa turned to her again. "You may think our ways are harsh. But it's how we survive."

Clarke could understand that. Of course she could. She had realized their ways were harsh too back on the Ark. But they thought they were saving the human race. Only they weren't. "Maybe life should be about more than just surviving." She broke their eye contact but felt Lexa's eyes on her nonetheless. "Don't we deserve better than that?"

"Maybe we do."

"And then you kissed?" Madi asked for the third time.

"Yes, then we kissed," Clarke said and enjoyed Madi's cute respond. "It was sweet and soft and innocent. And I will never forget it."

She debated whether or not she should stop the story there. That was the happy ending. But Madi looked at her so expectantly and it wasn't completely dark yet, so she decided to tell the rest too, shortening it a bit. "But I told her I wasn't ready to be with anyone yet. And she understood that."

Madi looked disappointed, but she said she wanted to hear the real story, so Clarke went on. "I'm sorry to crush the story Madi, but you know what happened at Mount Weather afterward. First, she told me to come with her to the capital once we got our people back. That it would change the way I would think about them. And then she betrayed us. I was so, so mad at her. But I had to save my people and became the legendary Wanheda." She sighed at the last two words. "You know the story."

Madi nodded. She had heard the story about Wanheda a few times.

"I never liked the name, but I guess it was an honor. People wanted to kill me to get the power of Wanheda. I hid, but Lexa sent a few people to find me. They brought me to Polis. I was still mad at her. Like really mad. I yelled at her. Blamed her for everything." Regret was showing through Clarke's voice. "Nonetheless, Lexa gave me a beautiful room to stay in. That's when I also first noticed she had a serious candle obsession."

Madi laughed at her words. "What?" she asked in disbelieve.

A smile appeared on Clarke's face. "Yes, your sister was obsessed with candles. Even her tower was practically one giant candle. It was high and round and had a fire on top of it."

Her face turned serious again. "I wished to not see her, but after a week, Lexa didn't obey that wish anymore. She told me she was calling a meeting with the Sky People at sundown and that I would be returned to them. It seemed odd to me. She first captured me and then just let me go. She said she saved me by doing that. I can kind of understand that now, but back then, I didn't. I told her I could've used some saving at Mount Weather."

A piece of wood in the fire broke in two, causing the separate pieces to burn down faster.

"I thought I was still mad at her for that, but I don't think I actually was. When she told me it was still haunting me and I was just mad at her because it was easier to hate her than myself, she was speaking the truth. She asked me what I would've done in her place. I told her I would've never taken the deal. But that wasn't true. I understood why she had done it. I would've done the same thing. Being a leader isn't easy, Madi. Whatever you do, there are people who disagree. People who blame you when you're just doing the best you can." She huffed. She knew Madi probably wouldn't understand it. She didn't know why she even told her this. But it felt good to just tell everything. "Those deaths in Mount Weather weren't only on me. They were on her too. The only difference was that she had no honor and I had no choice. And she knew that."