Imagine This

So You've Killed Yourself

You stand on a chair, shaking as tears ran down your cheeks. You look out the window, your parents would home in a little bit. You told yourself it would all be over soon and you gripped the note in your hand tighter and kicked the chair over. There was a sharp pain and then nothing. Nothing at all.

Your mother walks into the house, she has just gotten home from work. She calls for you to come downstairs, but there is no response. She waits a few minutes before going upstairs to check on you. She knocks on the door, but there is still no response. She is starting to get worried. She opens the door, and sees you hanging there. She drops to her knees, she hears wailing, and it takes her several moments to realize they were her own. She can't feel them though. The horror is too strong. Nothing can take back what she just saw.

Your father walks in, and sees his baby just hanging there. Your blank face staring hopelessly into oblivion. He is so overwhelmed with grief that he can't react. He cant scream. He cant speak. He cant even cry.

Finally, your little sister walks in, wondering what all the fuss is about. And then she sees you. The big sibling she always looked up, the one she wanted to be when she grew up. Gone forever.

The next day at school, your best friend sees that your seat is empty. He immediately feels worried, and he hopes you're just late, or maybe you're just sick. But then the principal announces your suicide. Your friend breaks down, sobbing. No one bothers to comfort him, because they're all staring at your empty seat with tears rolling down their cheeks. That teacher you didn't like begins to blame herself for being too hard on you. The popular kids that always teased you for how you looked fall into a deep depression themselves. They completely detach from each other. Your friend begins to self harm, thinking it was all his fault, wishing he was there to stop you.

Your parents' marriage has completely fallen apart. Your father drinks all the time, but no matter how much to drowns himself in alcohol, he cant get the sight of his dead child out of his head. Your mother has become so grief stricken that she cant get out if bed. She cant eat, its too hard to eat. Your sister doesn't smile or laugh anymore. She doesn't look up to anyone because no one can replace you from her life.

The people you just passed in the hallway at school, or the people you saw on the street put the blame on themselves. They wish they had been there to tell you that they cared.

And so you've killed yourself.

You've given a temporary problem a permanent solution.