"I'm single but I'm okay." I should tattoo this on my forehead, it's my life motto now.
On the nth night-out with two of my best friends sticking their tongue down their boyfriends' throats and some random guy casually groping my butt the whole time we've been here, I'm officially sick to my stomach. I mean, I'm glad for my best friends, Brianne and Jane to have found someone they are willing to commit to. They're both the nicest people I've ever met, they deserve it. But the random guy they set me up with- Joe? or John? is whispering something in my ear and desperately trying to grope my butt. I really want to die right now. If he was trying to be sexy, he's failed miserably.
Since the second or third time Brianne, Jane, their boyfriends Ricky, Dylan and I went out as a group, they had been trying to set me up with someone. Brianne has been with Ricky since freshman year and Jane met Dylan during summer, they're all super smitten with each other which is really great. For me, I was kind of fifth wheeling since we came back from summer. In the beginning, I would try to be nice and make small talks with whoever talked to me. However, the conversations always inevitably turn into something between borderline sexual harassment or some sloppy make-out/groping sessions, which I'm not too keen on either. Don't get me wrong, I'm not generally considered as a prude or good girl or anything. I've had my time in freshman year. Spending half of my life in an all-girls high school, I am a bit awkward, especially when it comes to boys. Yet, I made up for it in other areas.
But right now, or precisely, for the past month or two, I'm totally not feeling it.
It started since I broke up with my last kind-of-serious boyfriend, Daniel. In between flings and hook-ups, I met my ex-boyfriend Daniel near the end of freshman year. He ticked almost all the boxes so I went for it. He's gorgeous, the sex was great, we had similar interests and I love spending time with him. After a few months, he went and screw some sorority girl. I've had flings, but the relationship never lasted long. I really wanted this relationship to work. I was never interested enough to stay with anyone as long as I did with Daniel. Once I sense that people were getting too attached or show any sign of possessiveness, pushiness, whatever, I can't help but shy away. I tried to suppress the need to stay away, but I couldn't help it. What's more, I can never feel anything other than good, great, fun towards a relationship. Sure I've had numerous crushes throughout my life, but I never feel strong enough towards anyone. I couldn't relate to Brianne talking about how in love with Ricky she is. It feels like I'm disabled in the strong emotions department. And I feel like I have a problem. I don't know why am I like this.
Daniel made me feel like relationship can actually work. I never felt bored around him and I love spending time with him. But then he cheated, which is the biggest no-no. As much as I fool around, I never cheated on a fling that was established exclusive nor did I sleep with anyone's boyfriend (knowingly). I have a zero tolerance policy towards infidelity. Daniel even made a speech of how I didn't care about him enough and don't love him etc etc. I mean, no I can't say that I love him at this point YET but it's been only 3 months? 4 months? I might love him in the near future?? AND for the record I did care about him loads. But never mind, he's yesterday's news, I've moved on.
Back in the frat party, Joe/ Josh is still saying something in my ear and Brianne and Jane are still busy swapping germs with their boyfriend. I seriously contemplating my life choices right now. I feel sick to the stomach of the deafening music and sweaty bodies. Seriously though, why should I waste my time on something that I don't particular enjoy just to try to "get back out there" when I could have stay home and watch my favourite show? This is bullshit, I don't need to prove anything to anyone or put up with anything that I don't like. Fuck this, I'm outta here.
I stood up and pat Brianne in order to get her attention. "I got class tomorrow morning, I gotta go now," I shouted over the loud music.
"Aw, so soon?" she said, disappointed. I love my best friends, but I'm having an existential crisis in the middle of a party right now.
"No, you guys stay. I'll call a cab."
"Well, okay... if you say so."
I grabbed my keys and go. John or whatever his name is was already chatting up a group of girls. I rolled my eyes, what a dick.
The calming breeze hit me outside the crowded frat house. The frat house wasn't very far from my residence but it wasn't of walkable distance. It was a bit hard to call a cab this late, but considering I've had a few drinks, I'd rather not drive. Well, actually, I'm not drunk at all. Maybe I should drive. It's only a 5 to 10 minutes drive. Brianne and Jane's boyfriends will drive them home.
As I was debating whether to wait in the wind for a cab or drive myself home, what seems like a heated conversation mixed with occasional hysteric crying on the front porch caught my attention. A tall, leggy brunette was yelling at a guy about something. The girl is already tall, even taller with the heels but the guy has a good few inches on her. Her high-pitched voice is making my head hurt, my stomach feel even worse now. Then the brunette smacked the guy across the face and stomped off after screaming along the lines of "You cold, heartless jerk" something something. Wait, did I mention that her talons are glow-in-the-dark? It is totally unrelated but where did she get her manicure? Now I feel sorry for the guy, I hope his face is still intact.
I decided to call my roommate, Josi to pick me up. While I was waiting for her to pick up the phone, I watched the guy who got smacked look up and sighed. From a distance, I can he's pretty good-looking although I can only see the outline of him. Shaggy dark hair, strong jawline and in great physical shape, though I can't be sure since it's dark. Wow, I must be drunker than I thought, checking out stranger in the dark? Seriously? Livvy? I thought you're on a I-don't-need-a-man vacation?
"Hello?" Josi picked up the phone.
"Hey, can you come pick me up..." The man's eyes was suddenly focused on mine. They were the bluest eyes I've ever seen, I can make it out even in the dark. I quickly looked away.
"What?"
"Um, can you come pick me up?" I asked again on the phone, this time louder. Shit, I hope he doesn't think that I was eavesdropping on their private business. I was just curious, sorry. I might have been checking him out a bit but I don't mean no harm. I hope he gets that through telepathy.
"Where are you?" asked Josi sleepily. He walked towards me. I literally jumped and almost poop my pants. Shit. I cursed under my breath. He's even bigger than I thought. I felt the uncomfortable stirring in my stomach that I've been feeling the whole night grow again.
"At The frat party. Um Phi Sigma..." I watched him getting closer. Am I going to get beat up? Shit I said I wanted to die but not today?!
"Hi," the beautiful stranger said. His voice is deep and soothing, but I think I'm going to puke.
Wait, what?
I puked all over the floor next to my gorgeous silver Audi. Twice.
"What? Which house? Hello??" Josi inquired over the phone but I'm too dizzy to answer.
That's the last thing I remember before I render unconscious.
YOU ARE READING
Stone Hearts
RomanceWhen a heart that is unable to love meets a heart that is too scared to love.