Real House

Chapter 10

Three Weeks Later

Tori POV
Jade and I drive to the counseling building in silence. A weird comfortable silence. It's been three weeks since Jade came back home and things have been okay. Neither Liz nor Jess asked any questions and Thank goodness they did not see the news. They just went on like nothing happened and nothing happened to them. Jade and I have been careful. When I say that I mean we are careful not to seem out of the usual.

Oh yea Jade saw her cars and I'm surprised she wasn't pissed. Well then again I could tell she was upset but its like she didn't care at the same time. She said, "Better the cars then me."

Since she's been back we've acted like everything is okay. We don't kiss. We do but not on the lips. A simple forehead or cheek kisses nothing more. I can't handle anything more. We don't sleep in the same bed. I sleep in the guest room and Jade sleeps... I don't know where she sleeps. I know she doesn't sleep in our room. We don't even go in our room unless we have to get something out of there but that's it.

Every time I go in that room I get sick. I don't know I just do and I start to cry so I refuse to go in there. That bed isn't even Jade and I'd bed anymore. It's more like Tori, Jade and Beck's bed. So I will never go in there again. Simple as that.

After seeing the counselor
Jade and I just left the counseling office and it went great. I was able to get a lot off my chest and so was Jade. I honestly never knew how regretful Jade was till it was her turn to talk. During that session we were able to just let everything out. I cannot wait till our next session, which is in a week.

I keep a satisfied smile on my face as Jade and I head home. I look over at her and she has the same look on her face. I reach over and grab her free hand. I feel her tense up but she relaxes, looking over at me then our hands for a second before she looks back at the road a bigger smile appearing on her face.

I smile looking back ahead of me. I love Jade. I miss the way things use to be. I know I can never truly trust her like I used to, but I'm willing to get as close to that trust as possible.

I really want to just be able to go up to Jade and kiss her. I want to just make out with her like we used to and have Jess call us gross. I want to do all that. But every time I think I can, Jade and Beck flash in my head. The bedroom flashes into my head and I just get sick to my stomach.

I remember a dream I had. Jade and I were making passionate love and it felt so real. Felt like our wedding night and next thing I know I'm standing at the foot of the bed watching Jade and Beck and I couldn't do anything but cry. Jade looked over at me stopping Beck then pulled away grabbing me pulling me onto the bed laying me in between them and they both kissed my cheek. I jerked awake crying myself back to sleep.

That dream keeps replaying over and over in my head since the night I had it and I keep having it. I don't know what it's trying to say. I mean I think I know but I can't really focus on that right now cause we are home and Jade is looking at me with that worried wondering look.

I look at her and she reaches over wiping away a tear that's sliding down my cheek.

"Are you okay?" She asks softly caressing my cheek and I nod. "You sure?" I nod again.

"Yea. I'm good. Just thinking about something." Her mouth forms a small 'o' looking down. She knows what I'm thinking about. I don't like to keep thinking about it. It's like I keep throwing it in her face but I'm not trying to.

"Tori I don't want to keep putting you through this pain. I know I'm hurting you. I can see it in your eyes and I hate it." She says looking at me a tear slipping from her now light blue eyes and I wipe the tear away, cupping both of her cheeks looking her in the eyes and I kiss her.

Jade POV

I freeze against Tori as she kisses me! She's kissing me! For the first time in forever Tori is really kissing me!

I kiss back after a couple of seconds of being in shock. Our lips move in sync her hands moving from my cheek tangling themselves in my hair and I wrap my arms around her waist pulling her closer. She pulls away, but her forehead resting against mine my eyes still closed as I feel my lips tingling. The kiss was short but it was passionate.

"I love you, Jade." I hear her sweet voice say and I open my eyes and see her brown ones looking into my blue ones.

"I love you more, Tori." She hugs me tightly burying her head in my shoulder and I hug back holding her tighter.

After a couple of seconds of just holding each other we pull apart and she kisses my forehead before getting out. I get out and grab her hand and we go inside. I pull her into the living room laying on the couch pulling her on top of me. She lays with her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her kissing her head holding her tightly. She relaxes against me and I run my fingers though her hair.

I miss this. We use to do this all the time. We call it "Us" time. While Liz is at school and while Jori naps. Today my dad came and got her for take your grandchild to work day. I know weird right? Anyway I plan on continuing "Us" time for as long as possible.

Tori POV

I remember being angry. No not angry furious. Now I'm.... calm. As I look back over the past few weeks from when Jade told me she cheated I went from "Goodie Two Shoes Tori" to "I Will Fuck You Up In A Heart Beat West". Tori West. Jade and Tori West. I remember when I couldn't even say Jade's name without wanting to punch a wall or her if she was there at the time. Now I feel so... okay. That sounds dumb but I'm serious. Yes I'm still hurt but I'm not angry. Not anymore. I just don't. This is so weird.

When I kissed Jade and we had "Us" time its like her cheating on me and everything didn't happen. I surprised myself when I kissed her and I know she was surprised because she didn't kiss back for a couple of seconds but when she did it made all the anger melt away I guess you can say. Even though I'm not angry anymore we still have a long way to go when it comes to repairing our marriage.