Dear The Girl I Love,
How are you? Are you doing good? What am I supposed to say to you, anyway? But I just found myself writing you a letter, I'm afraid that I may not be able to see you again, to look at you again, to stare at you again, I'm not be able to see you smile, to witness your awkward look and your blush. I know you find me weird and scary all the time but I want to thank you for trusting me despite all the scarcity of information about me.
Love. Can I call you Love? For not be able to know your name. Love, you taught me what love is all about, you find it weird again, right? I think I don't need a long period of time to learn what love is all about, I don't think I need to know the person truly and wholely just to call what I'm feeling is love.
Why would I ask such a long time if I only had a short time. Loving you is such a miracle thing that happens to me, why? All my life I only think on how to overcome physical pains from my illness, I only think of myself on how to be okay. I really wanted to do things beyond my body can do. I want to take a risk even if it tooks my life.
And you are the risk that I can't risk so, easily. I don't want to left you hanging if I push myself too much, I don't want to give you burden. If looking, staring, and caring can save you from pain so, I will.
I'm being a coward, seeing you hurt pains me. I don't want you hurt, Love.
I want you to be happy.
I don't know about how you feel for me but it's more convenient if you don't feel anything for me at all so I can be at ease, so I don't need to worry that you will be in pain when I'm gone.
But if you feel the same way I do, promise me Love, take care of yourself, take care of reaching books from the highest bookshelf, don't run under the rain without an umbrella please always bring one so you'll be away from the sickness, and also watch where you walk so won't bump into someone, don't skip your meal and a lot more of things to keep you healthy. I'm not there anymore to take care of you and watch over you.
I know I'm gonna be unfair, you hear me out but I don't give you a chance to hear you more and I'm leaving you. I'm dying.
I'm sorry for all the disappointments, Love. I love you forever and always until we meet again.
Love,
Allen
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