A/N: This is a super sad story and Ik, since this is my first Jaydick fic I've published, this most likely won't get a lot of reads or likes, but for those who read it: Thank you for your support!
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Dick's feelings were unpredictable these days.
He always had questions he would never have the answer to.
He knew he should let life take its course, but he couldn't stop his wondering.
What would they do when they found out? Would everyone hate him? Would they think he was dirty and want nothing to do with him?
He was worried his brain might explode.
"Hey Dick-head."
He broke out of his thoughts and snapped his sapphire eyes upward to meet his younger brother. He looked at his unlocked open window and cursed silently. He really had just wanted to be alone.
Standing above him was his Jay-Bird.
Shouldn't younger brothers be shorter than their older brothers?
He felt a twitch at his lips. He let a half-hearted response leave his lips.
"Hey, Jay." A snort.
"So sad to see me that you can't even put on a fake smile?"
He sunk into his trashed furniture and sighed.
"No, Jay. I'm sorry, I'm just really stressed and tired right now."
Cerulean eyes rolled at his response.
"Sleep, then."
He sighed deeply.
It seemed that's all he could do these days.
"Can't. Work."
Jason huffed in annoyance and scooted closer.
Dick couldn't deny his heart beating faster and his breath quickening.
He swallowed the thick mucus building up in his throat.
Was it because of what happened with Catalina?
Or is it something else?
He shuddered violently at the thought of her, and Jason worriedly placed a hand on the other man's forehead.
What would his fellow officers say?
His family?
He... a victim of rape?
He tried unsuccessfully to move the other man's hand away from him.
He shook his head.
"I don't have a fever."
Again, the younger male put his hands on him, this time to force him to lay down.
"Yes you do, you need to rest."
He squirmed involuntarily, and again the hand came to still him. To hold him down.
"Stop, I'm fine."
This was all too much.
He was hyperventilating.
"No, you aren't-"
With wide eyes, he smacked away the hand coming down to greet his body.
"Stop!"
He scrambled back on the couch and felt his heart constrict when he saw the hurt and confused look Jason sent him.
"What is wrong with you?"
He licked his lips.
Tell him.
No words came out.
Speak.
"I-"
His head felt heavy and his eyes rolled upwards, his back sinking deeper still into his couch cushion.
-
Blood splattered across the cement as Blockbuster's body fell hard to the ground.
Tarantula approached Dick and circled him slowly, like an animal stalking its prey.
"You're welcome."
She grinned with clear malicious intent.
He sat, numb, unable to do anything as she whispered sweet nothings into his ear and stripped him down.
"Stop," he would say, but she just wouldn't listen.
"Please," he would beg, as she ravaged him.
"Why?" He would cry, and she stole the last bit of pride he held.
He couldn't cry anymore.
-
He woke up to a pounding headache and low whispers.
"Dick-... -fainted- ... no... he's fine, but-",
He let out a small whine as he moved to sit up.
A glass of water next to him called his name, and he clumsily downed it in a few seconds.
He took in a few deep, gasping breaths and shivered.
Where is Jay?
"Hello?" He croaked, his dry throat getting the better of him and sending him into a short coughing fit.
"Dick?"
Hurried footsteps make their way in front of him, their owner wanting answers.
"What's wrong, Dick?"
"I-"
He took a shaky breath.
"I need some time, can you please get me water?"
Jason looked wary and Dick pushed on.
"Don't worry Jay, I'm not going anywhere."
-
When Jason walked back with his glass of water, Dick had adjusted to the thick, uncomfortable atmosphere.
Jason set the water down and sat on the other end of the couch.
"You can talk when you're ready, I'll be here."
Dick again took a deep breath and continued what he couldn't earlier.
"I watched Blockbuster die."
Jason's brow wrinkled and he grit his teeth.
"It wasn't just that. She..."
His voice cracked and he took a pause.
"Who, Dick?"
He turned from Jason's comforting but intense gaze in shame.
"Tarantula. Catalina."
Jason urged him on silently.
"What did she do?"
Dick grit his teeth.
"She killed him... and I didn't do anything."
Dick couldn't stand the words coming from his mouth.
"But it wasn't just that, afterwards, she- she-"
He screwed his eyes shut as tightly as he could.
"Please, you can't tell Bruce..."
Jason quickly promised to follow his wishes.
His head hung low and at that moment he realized just how scared he was to say it.
"She raped me."
Jason's pupils dilated and he sucked in a deep breath.
"Dick..."
He unsurely wrapped his arms around the other man and held him close.
Dick finally released the tears that he'd been holding in for far too long.
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A/N: For those of you who don't know, in an old volume, Dick was raped by Catalina (aka Tarantula). She killed Blockbuster in front of him and Dick was so shocked that he couldn't move as she exploited him... personally I think it's especially devastating because Dick is my favorite character (EVER!) and I feel like he tends to keep stuff to himself when he doesn't want to upset others. Sooooo, end explanation! that's what happened and it made me super sad so after all this time I decided to write this with pretty big hints of Jaydick!! Love you guys, hope you enjoyed.
