Lost In Love

Mausoleum Breakdown

It was a dreary, rainy day. Clarity solemnly walked into the cemetery after leaving her car at the entrance. She was dressed in black, making her red hair stand out. She wandered through the cemetery until she came upon what she was looking for. Her familys mauseoleum. It had only been six months since her parents had tragically died in a car accident. She still went there every Sunday and put fresh flowers in the vases inside the mauseoleum. As she walked inside, silent tears dropped down her face.

“Hey mom, dad. I can’t begin to tell you how difficult it is to go on without you here. I mean a seventeen year old girl shouldn’t lose her parents when she is this young. What am I going to do without you? I’m seventeen! I’m not even old enough to get a real job! I probably won’t be able to keep the house. They all think I’m ‘emotionally unstable’ and am not fit enough to live alone. I just hope I can pull through this. I love you guys so much. I...I...”

She slid down the side of the mauseoleum, losing herself in tears and grief.

******

Casper found himself walking down the wet pavement. When he looked up he saw a sign a little ways down the road. He was about a block away from the old cemetery. It’s not really ‘old’ so to say, but thats just what everyone called it. He walked a little further, getting closer and closer to the cemetery. Casper was about to turn around, having to leave in a few days he wanted to see everything that was home to him in the small town. As he stopped by the gate of the cemetery, he heard distant sobbing.

He looked around and then saw her car. She must be here visiting her parents, Casper thought to himself. He hesitated going in to see if she was okay. It wouldn’t do him any good, seeing her. He had to leave in four days, seeing her would just make it worse. He turned away from the gate and started walking in the other direction. Don’t turn around, don’t turn around. There he was turning around and walking into the cemetery. “Here goes nothing.” He said solemnly to himself.

******

Her body hurt. Crying for this long couldn’t be good for you. Your body being wracked with sobs. The pain of sitting on the concrete floor, your body going numb from the cold. None of it could be good for you, yet she kept crying. Pull yourself together dammit! She told herself over and over again. Nothing she tried would stop her from crying. She had to of been there half an hour, crying. Clarity vaguely heard the door open, but didn’t get up or even flinch. She heard a man’s voice trying to coax her out of the stupor she had put herself in from crying. She recognized the voice. Casper. She barely felt his hands on her face trying to get her to respond. His voice was muffled in her ears. She opened her hazel-green eyes to the face of her savior.

“Thank god! Come on back now, I got you.”  She heard him say and she smiled mildly. Clarity felt him pull her into his arms, the warmth surging through her bitterly cold bones.  She felt content. She started to feel the little bounces with every step he took. She felt his hand slip into her coat pocket and grab her keys, unlocking her car. Clarity heard the door open, felt him set her down in the passenger seat, buckling her up. She heard a door close then open on the other side of her, then close again. She felt the rattle of the car as it started up and started moving. She felt as the heat came back to her body, everything coming back.

“You didn’t have to do this.” She said her voice scratchy from crying. Clarity looked over to him and saw him shake his head.

“I usually don’t break down like that, it’s just....it’s been six months. I’m about to lose my house. I can’t get a decent job.....I can’t.....I just can’t.” She started crying again. God, I’m making a fool of myself. I shouldn’t be complaining, he’s the one who has to leave his family behind, his everything. I should be grateful that I’m still here, living on. She forced herself to stop crying.

******

Casper listened intently to what she was saying. He looked over at her as she cried for a few minutes, then stopped.

“Clarity, people understand. They know what happened. They should understand what you’re going through! They-” She stopped him.

“THEY DON’T!” She snapped. “They don’t understand anything. I’m seventeen for gods sake, Casper! I need my parents! But no, they aren’t here. They’ll never see me graduate, go to prom, get my heart broken, or get married. My father won’t walk me down the aisle because I don’t have one now!” She was yelling now. Yelling and sobbing at the same time. Casper pulled the car over.