Petrichor

Page 113

I want to listen to fate 

And my feelings 

Ad my dreams.

But I can't 

Explain it- I'm just trying my best

But not- at the same time.

Her eyes are startling 

And her hair is like waves 

Of moon-kissed ocean. 

She, by contrast, is plain,

But when she speaks,

Kind, genuine words fall out. 

I stumbled in their presence,

I tried so hard to be liked.

He. He is friendly. He talks to

Me not as if I am my braces,

Glasses, sweaty and average. 

He makes me laugh. 

And whenever I think of him

He appears, in real life. 

It's fate, playing with me once more. 

I cannot help feelings but I'm not sure 

What they are. 

I just wish I was more 

Than dull short hair, 

Than old hands and cellulite thighs

And braces and a no-face

And flabby tummy and poor sinuses

And sticky out ears and extra facial hair 

And below average boobs and dissatisfaction.

I just wish I was more. 

On the bus 

The badminton lot 

Chanted my name 

And it was awkward 

And I was embarrassed 

But I felt so 

Special,

Happy,

I felt happy. 

And with friends beside me,

Friends at home,

Friends from my home town 

I feel secure, 

Grounded by others.

But still floating,

Floating between people,

I need one or two people to 

Anchor me.

But first,

I must be 

Worthy of 

Anchoring.