The vents of MintVanity

Just remember

September 15, 2017 || 23:18 ||

Okay so I've had classmates complain about how their parents get mad at them for drinking and partying late at night. They think it's the dumbest thing in the world and that their parents suck ass.

I'll have them know that at least their parents don't say things that trigger you.

All my mom has to say about me every time I see her is how stupid, fat and ugly I am and how I should just become a vegan. How I should grow taller and be happier.

First off, that should be illegal in Canada. I think it is, but my mom says "fuck you" to the law. My Mom compares me to every person who is literally acing their studies and being able to work and be athletic at the same time. It's not my fault people don't like me.

Secondly, my parents literally think I'm a tool and when I need emotional help, they just tell me to get over myself or to "grow up".

Uhm

Last time I checked, emotions don't work like that. You can't just make them go away. I honestly think my parents are just ignoring my feelings and what I have to say about things which, by the way, isn't right. I do my best to point out reasonable things in an argument and what do I get in return?

"Shut up, this is my house, so you live under my rules."

I'm paying for my own insurance and my own fucking car, my gas and my phone bill. I pay for my own groceries and I study and work while trying to slip in some exercise. I take care of my own damn siblings by driving them and paying for their lunch and helping them with homework and they don't think I'm mature enough to have a say in an argument? My mom is telling me that I should grow taller and become skinnier  because I'm so fat.

Height isn't a very good friend of mine, mainly because of my genes and because of how many hours I lose over work on top of all the homework I have.

My money is gone trying to take care of myself and my siblings by paying for almost all the things I use and need.

Thirdly, I'm not a victoria's secret model so if she is going to point out about how I'm so fat and short and how ugly I am, then so help me god, I'll just go get surgery and be someone I'm totally not from now on.

My siblings are thriving in their studies and that alone makes me so happy because they have something that I don't; the chance to study and be athletic without the hassle of working and stressing over homework I have already seen and studied.

I'm so happy for them that I'm actually a bit envious; I wish I had more time to study and play sports instead of working, but that's not the case. People look at me differently for my race, my skin colour and for the fact that I look dead all the time. My siblings have the privilege to make friends and genuinely be happy and study.

The people in my graduating class all hate me and think I'm some loser or some depressed kid with absolutely no life. They talk bad about me and spread rumours that are never true. They make fun of depression, which I do happen to have just in case anyone was curious, and take red pens and start "cutting" themselves. People in my grade make fun of how short I am and assume that I'm mentally retarted because of how small I am. They take one look at me and condemn me to the devil, saying that I'm the spawn of Lucifer. Above all things, they kick me around and hit me and do the teachers do anything about it? Absolutely not. Do the counsellors do anything about it? Absolutely not. Does anyone in my grade do anything about it? Of course not, why should they?

Unlike me, my siblings have more time to sleep so it's easier for them to get up in the morning. I work during the school year and 90% of the time, I work and then do my homework, which I usually have no idea how to do no matter how many times the teacher tries to explain how to do it, and to top it off, I get a solid 3-4 hours of sleep if not 5.

If my parents can't see the struggle I go through everyday, from waking up in the morning to dealing with school, my damned generation, work and homework to crying myself to sleep at night with the words of everyone ringing in my head, then I need to just leave. And I don't mean social media or my house, but my life. I need it to all just stop and disappear. I'm craving for some peace and love, rather than depression and sadness.

That's all I have to say for now. More are probably coming. Probably.