A life of crime for my stolen sweetheart

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It all started when I was walking to Waffle House at 4:00 A.M. what seems like so long ago, but was really yesterday morning. I had been going there for years every Thursday before sunrise to get the best booth in the corner and eat some gosh dang scrabbled eggs in peace. I always jogged there, because if I didn't a bum called crazy Keith would steal that amazing table. I mean, literally steal it. He will run into the building and carry the table out to his alley whenever he gets the chance. Anyways, I had cut through a neighborhood one way to that fine establishment that morning, and there he was. To describe his beautiful sexiness is just simply impossible. Just thinking about him makes my knees weak. He was lying in a patch of flowers in a small house's front yard. I stopped right then and there, transfixed by his alluring gaze. I looked left and right, and made a run for him. I scooped up his stone cold body that was shockingly light, and sprinted a mile back home in 2.7 seconds. Did I forget to mention that I was the female flash? Cool huh? I think he thought so too. When I reached my house, I unlocked the front door in a frenzy and hopped up the stairs to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I dropped him onto my bed and stared at him, taking in the details of his breathtaking appearance. He was laying on one side, a hand propped up to support his head. He wore a floppy hat that shockingly made him look manly. He flaunted a thick but well groomed beard and mustache, and he wore a button down shirt that was stretched taunt over his potbelly. His slacks and boots where very fashionable, I must admit. He was the most handsome and perfect lawn gnome that I had ever seen ,and now he was mine.

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 17, 2017 ⏰

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