You breathe... oxygen?

"So, let me get this right. You breathe... oxygen?"

The blobbish creature extended another slug-like appendage, striking the keyboard character signalling confusion. It undulated slightly, its hairs on end - a sign of timidness, according to the labcoats. Keith sighed.

"Yep. Most of us just call it air though, so you can lower your syllable count."

The Ioou shaped itself into a top-heavy form, balancing on its body as it waited for the voice translation to come through. They had worked on the thing for quite some time, but it still took at least eight or more seconds for even the most basic replies.

It continued with a simple "I understand", remaining silent for some time. It was probably was communicating with its superiors in its high frequency language - once they had discovered that humans had a limited hearing range, they hadn't exactly been subtle about conversing behind our backs.

"And just to be sure, M'stur Kee-ath, could you verify our report on the fauna of your planet?

The aliens... hadn't exactly been what everyone expected when they were found. Instead of hulking creatures with extra limbs or Vulcan-like geniuses, we got furry breadbox-sized skin sacks. They didn't even breathe the same atmosphere as us - right now, Keith was sitting in a modified space suit to prevent his lungs from being melted.

"Sure," the weathered diplomat said. "What parts were you confused over?"

"It is not that we are confused," the Ioou responded, tapping the frustration key on the communication device. "We simply wish to confirm. For instance, our report mentions that you are... living with some of these species?"

Keith gave a quick chuckle. "Yeah, we've domesticated a lot of animals. Some of them for food, like cows, other for companionship."

"Including beasts such as the fanged woa'ulf?" it asked.

"Wolves? Oh, you mean dogs!" The translation device wasn't exactly great at picking up on names for species or people. "Yeah, I actually have a yorkie at home, cutest little thing."

Another round of silence. Seemed like he was causing quite a stir.

"And to further clarify, there are also other, more hazardous creatures - venomous even?"

The Ioou seemed quite obsessed with humans and their perceived tenacity. They were apparently a type of extremophile - beings that had evolved on planets with incredible temperatures and acidic soil. This made them resilient to certain chemicals, as well as capable of subsisting on some minerals and sunlight. But they were also the sole species of their birth planet. They never had to compete with other creatures for survival. As a result, they were sluggish, unmotivated beings, reflected by their pudgy form. When they began to develop warp drives, they were guided by necessity rather than curiosity, their dying sun forcing them to take flight. From what we had been told, there were other space faring species as well, reluctant entrees of the intergalactic community. Some came from multi-species planets, but none were quite like ours - flooded with a myriad of, to them, gigantic and deadly monsters.

"Look, our last interview was quite extensive." Keith tapped the armchair with his fingers impatiently. Talking to the first xenosapient being was an exhilarating experience back when their conversations were short and concise. This had already gone on for way over an hour, and he could feel his leg falling asleep. "We've done nothing but gone over previous data, and I am getting pretty hungry. Maybe we could wrap this up?"

The interviewer sat silent again, this time for over a minute. Just as he was about to get up from his chair, it spoke again. "M'stur Kee-ath, have you been informed of the [UNKNOWN CONCEPT]?" It pressed the continuation key a few times, underlining that it had more to say. "A species approximately our size, with a biological makeup most closely resembling your domesticated chee-khans."

Keith raised an eyebrow. This seemed oddly out of character for their species - usually they were very forward with their intentions.

"I've heard a bit from the survey teams. Feathered reptiles, if I'm not mistaken."

The Ioou made a pulsing motion, a gesture the diplomat didn't quite understand. Was it excitement?

"Recently, the [UNKNOWN CONCEPT] have been expanding their civilization to our worlds - an act that has cause a number of inconveniences. Now, we are aware that your species has certain... biological advantages."

Leaning forward on its appendages, the interviewer began pulsing more rapidly.

"M'stur Kee-ath... have you ever considered mercenary work?"

THE END