The Evil Twin

Chapter 4

When my assailant returned in the night, he saw me toppled down along with the chair.He didn't say anything but just smiled. "I need a cigarette,"I screamed."Sorry, I don't have one," he replied immediately. "Y.. you have to bring me a cigarette, I ca.. can't...I will die if I don't get to smoke now", I pleaded with tears in my eyes.I had been craving for a cigarette for the entire day.This time he decided to totally ignore my request and strolled towards me. "It seems like you tried to run away, didn't you? Listen, I know you don't want this, but there's nothing you can do about it. Even if you somehow manage to run out of this house, I can track you down and bring you back here ", he said with a smile as he brought my chair to a standing position and untied my hands and kept a plastic container in front of me.                                               

"Why don't you understand that I need to fucking smoke?",I screamed as I quickly started untying my legs.He pulled me up by my hair and gave a severe blow to my head with the back of the gun. I held my head in dismay."But why am I in here?What have I done?",I pleaded ardently.    "You'll know that when the time comes.Now eat that food ", he replied, switching the tv on.   "But I seriously need to smoke,"this time I cried like a small baby.He stared at me for a few seconds, and then removed a cigarette out of his pocket and threw one at me and just as I was picking up the cigarette, he threw the matchbox as well.I placed the cigarette in my mouth hurriedly and even more quickly lit the matchstick. Burning the cigarette, I exhaled smoke, and it felt like I had been just pulled out of an endless dark pit.Gazing at the smoke, I started reminiscing how I had stepped into that hole...

I had got the job at the factory as promised by Rakesh. Within a few days, I had made new friends there. Shekhar was one of them.He was a tall guy with broad shoulders, a muscular physique, and had a deep, husky voice which intimidated me until I had realized that he was indeed, a good guy. He used to invite me to various of his outings with his friends.I used to politely reject to the invitations initially because I didn't smoke or drink at that time.Also, it wasn't something I could afford to do since I had just started earning. He had sensed my hesitation and dragged me forcefully with him a few times initially and had paid for my drinks and cigarettes, after which the hesitation had disappeared completely.For an 18-year-old, who had just embarked into adulthood and who had been caged into an orphanage until now, this was like flying over the clouds.In the cigarette smoke I exhaled for the first time, I could see myself, escaping the cage behind me and flying into the skies, beaming with joy about the new found freedom.

But I had soon realised it was all an illusion, that I had chosen the wrong path.And rightly so, it was all downhill from there. There is a thin line of difference between need and greed.And when greed passes over need, that's when things start getting dirty, and you start losing control over yourself. I had mistaken all that Shekhar had introduced me to, for freedom.But it wasn't.It was an even stronger cage.And steadily, even though aware of it, I was falling prey to this trap. It wasn't long enough that I got addicted to cigarettes. A day wouldn't end until I smoked dozens of cigarettes.I wanted to give up on this addiction, but it had gone well past my control now.It was affecting both, my work and my personal relationships.Rakesh had seen me smoking a lot of times and had tried telling me several times to keep it under control.He had stopped trying to convince me after I had told him not to interfere with my life.Soon, I had also realised Shekhar and his friends weren't cool people.They were just a bunch of sad people who lived a monotonous, tiring life and their solution for this was to get drunk and forget about it.It was as if they had accepted their fate.

The truth had started sinking into me slowly. I stopped hanging out with Shekhar and his friends.I was still very younger than them, so I knew I still had a chance to get my life back on track.I promised myself that I would never turn into one of those obnoxious people. The alcohol was easy to get rid of as I wasn't addicted much to it but getting rid of smoking was a hard row to hoe.Eventually, I got rid of alcohol, but smoking was still an issue.There had been some progress as the number of cigarettes per day had decreased, but it was still an addiction.One of the main reasons for this was that in this process of quitting my addictions, I had grown more and more lonely.I had chosen to stay away from Shekhar and his friends, and Rakesh had turned his back on me after I had been rude to him.Sometimes, I wouldn't even have a single conversation with anybody for the entire day.It was horrifying.Even worse than the orphanage.I used to spend most of my evenings at an old bridge, staring at the calm water, wondering if I should jump and end the suffering.And just when I had thought that life couldn't be any worse, I had ended up here, in this dark shady hell. 

My assailant laughed boisterously keeping his eyes transfixed on the television set. I kept staring at the television set as it reflected back blurry images.The monstrous laugh too slowly started subsiding, and all I could hear clearly was the sound of my heartbeat, quivering woozily like a candle flame yet managing to keep the light alive.And if this flame would have to face the wild breeze even once again, it'd inevitably surrender.And all those images won't be blurry anymore for they would lose their light.And all that I'd be left staring at would be complete absolute darkness...