Power of Persuasion

Chapter Four:

I waited until my dad fell asleep before sneaking across the hallway into the guest room to see Jesse. With every step the floor boards creaked, but my dad's snoring covered up the noise. My mother still wasn't home, she'll be working until about 6 a.m tomorrow morning. My dad was used to sleeping alone at this point.

I slowly turned the door knob leading into the guest room. The hall light cracked through the door, I saw Jesse sitting up on the bed with his back to me. The room was windowless, there was only a twin sized bed pushed up against a wall, a desk with an old computer that didn't even work, and a big leather chair in the corner. The room was completely dark when I closed the door behind me. I had trouble finding my way to the bed. "Are you close?" I heard him whisper. "I'm not sure." I replied taking a risky step forward "Try and find my hand." He replied. I'm assuming he stretched out his arm at this point. I leaned forward waving my hands in front of me trying to find him. I heard him breathing and followed the sound of his light breaths. My hand finally hit his, he grabbed it quickly and pulled me towards him sitting me on the bed close to him. We weren't holding hands, but he left his laying on top of mine. "Tell me what happened." I whispered. "I'm not sure where to start..." Jesse sighed heavily. "From the beginning." I took his hand off from on top of mine, and laid my hand on his.

"Ya see, I never really had a dad, or a father figure I should say." I couldn't make out his facial expression but I could feel him frowning. "My mom and dad were high school sweethearts, in unbreakable love since 4th grade. During their senior year, after getting my mom pregnant with me, my dad proposed. At 18 they eloped after graduating high school. I was born in 1996, in Boston. My dad waited until I was 5 until he joined the military. My mom and I decided to come with him and live on the military base. My dad went straight into combat in Afghanistan. I was almost 6 years old when he died. I never knew him that well, but it really affected me as a child. I looked up to him in an odd way. After getting a letter that stated Harvey Lane was confirmed KIA on June 18th 2001,  my mom started to get a bad reputation, fucking almost everything that moved, and after living there for a year, my mom got pregnant again. All my life I've grown up around people that didn't really give a shit about me. I raised myself mostly while my mom was fucking numerous guys knowing my dad was dead.

"What's KIA mean?" I asked, grabbing his hand a bit tighter.

"Killed in action." Jesse replied. The room was pitch black, but I could feel his eyes on me.

"After leaving the military base on a plane, my mother and I, whom I've already developed a deep seeded hate for, decided to go to a place that no one knew our name, which just happen to be Washington. Found a crap-shit apartment and lived there while my mother worked 4 jobs while being pregnant with the child of the man she didn't know who the dad was. I took it upon myself to raise this kid. I didn't want him to have the shitty childhood I did. I was 7 when Miles was born. My baby brother was my pride and joy and I taught him everything he knew."

Jesse began breathing heavily. His voice began getting raspier and he started choking on his words as they came out of his mouth. I couldn't imagine the pain on his face right now. I was kind of glad I couldn't see him.

"My mom was, and continues to be the most irresponsible person I have ever met. I couldn't trust her to raise him. My childhood was raising Miles, and I did it until I was 10 years old. While I was at school, my mom left Miles, a 3 year old, unsupervised in the bath tub. Can you imagine coming home to a drunk, passed out mother, waiting all day to see your little brother, only to find his blue and purple body, dead in the bath tub? Can you imagine that?"

By now, the tears were flowing. I could feel each one roll of his cheek and hit my hand. Nothing else mattered but his voice right now. No one knew anything about Jesse but me. The windowless guest room was now filled with secrets I'd never tell. That no one but me would ever care to know.

"I pulled his lifeless, cold, body from the water and held Miles against my chest, only hoping how hard my heart was beating could some how help his start again. Me, a ten year old boy, holding his pride and joy, the only thing I've ever done right, dead in his arms because of his bitch mother. She was so incoherent. She didn't hear me crying. She was passed out drunk on the couch in her satin robe that she continues to wear to this day. She wears the robe she killed my brother in, her only son that had a chance to do something good with himself. She ruined. And that's is something I can never forgive her for."

No more tears hit my hand. Now all that was in his voice was anger, vengeance. "My mom came home with a stranger tonight, as she usually does. Drunk, and high on whatever drug she got her hands on. I was sleeping when I awoke to her sneaking in my room, looking through my desk drawers for money. I grabbed her wrists and then she screamed in my face as if I was actually physically hurting her. The man she brought home quickly ran to her rescue, pushing me away"

"How'd you get the scratches?" I whispered.

"My mom clawed my face after watching me punch her little one night stand in the nose a few times. He should of known not to lay a hand on me."

"I'll tell you what," I started, turning my body towards him. The room still completely pitch black. "Tomorrow I'll go with you to your house so you can pick up a few things and come back here. I'm sure my dad will let you stay another night or two."

He didn't reply, all he did was grab my hand tightly. Usually I was afraid of the dark. Complete nothingness scared me. Not knowing what I was around, or what was happening around me. I fear the unknown. But, with Jesse, just his hand touching mine made me not worry so much about the dark, but actually enjoy it. No one has flaws if you can't see them.

We breathed together for a few minutes. Not saying anything, just holding hands.

"Are you smiling, Jesse?" I asked, finally breaking the silence.

"You tell me." He answered. His voice low and soft. He took my hand, and rubbed my thumb against his lips. I felt the corners of his mouth turn up. If only I could see his smile.

"Do you think we could lay here together for a bit?" Jesse asked, his voice sounding naieve.

I didn't answer, but instead laid down on my side, as he did the same facing eachother. I looked at him even though I couldn't see anything. We weren't touching in any way, but his presense was more than enough for me.

"Lets play truths." Jesse whispered.

"Teach me how." I scooted closer to him, he wrapped an arm around me.

"I ask you a question, and no matter what you have to tell me the truth. Then you ask me, and I have to tell you the truth."

"And what if I lie?" I asked, breathing into his neck.

"You wont." He sighed, pulling me closer.

Jesse opened his mouth, I could feel his chest vibrate as he talked. "Sophie, did it bother you when I kissed you?"

His arm was firmly wrapped around me. I could feel his heart beat, I felt his jaw move, but couldn't see his lips. "No. It was just surprising." He pulled me in tighter.

"Jesse, do you like me?" I asked, immediatley regretting every word that came out of my mouth.

"I think I do, Soph. Same question."

"I think so too." I replied. heavily gulping after answering.

"Why do you like me?" I dug my head into his neck after asking, afraid of what he was going to say.

"I don't know yet, but I'l tell you when I figure it out."

And that answer, was the best thing I could ever ask for. Those words that came out of his mouth were the single best thing anyone has said to me in a long time. I didn't know why I liked Jesse either, but I knew I did. I knew something about him was going to be good for me. He made me feel more than alive, he made me feel normal.

See, when I met Jesse for the first time, I did't really imagine that he would turn out to be someone I'd be cuddling with at 3 am. I didn't really assume that when I first learned his name, I'd soon know his life story. I want to know Jesse inside and out. I want to know how many breaths he takes in a full night sleep. I want to count the veins in his hand and make sure my name is constantly running through one of them.

I listened to his silence until he fell asleep. I did not take my sleeping pill, but I've seemed to have slept better in his arms than I have in my entire life.