When I was young, I thought life is a gift– and I still think it is.
But as I grew up....it slowly lost it's purpose.
Like a shiny gift...losing it's twinkle and charm.
When I was young, my parents were always there. Always.
As I grew up, they slowly drifted.
When I was young time doesn't matter, as I grew up it ruled my life.
When I was young I love how my parents would look at me and smile.
Now, as I grew up...their looks turned to stares and their stares were not with smiles, it was with disappointment and critisism.
When I was young memories were treasured, as I grew up they were all meant to be forgotten.
When I was young Love is a beautiful word.
Now, I don't even know what it means.
When I was young everyone encouraged me. Now, they seem to discourag me more.
When I was young bullying and insults were always not minded.
As I grew up, it became what I always feared.
When I was young everyone is there. Now, they all left.
Left me.
When I was young blades,knives and sharp objects are forbidden to be touched.
As I grew up, they helped me cut out all my sadness and frustrations.
When I was young demons were only going to get you if you don't pray.
As I grew up, no matter how many times I prayed the demons inside me never ceased.
When I was young, life was happy.
Now, that word seemed to be foreign. So foreign, I can't even remember how to be happy.
When I was young depression,emptiness,sadness and anxiety doesn't exist.
Now, they seemed to be filling up my soul and devouring me all.
When I grew up, all this shit happened.
And I was foolish to think that life is all rainbows and butterflies.
Turns out– it isn't.
Is what I'm feeling normal?
(a/n
gotta let it out somehow, it's hard to bottle it all inside.)
