What if? - A Ziam Story. [On Hold.]

I'd Follow You Anywhere.

Nobody talked during the ride back home. There was this kind of tension between the lads and I. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be good. The wrong sentence could start an argument between us and I certainly didn't want that to happen. Knowing this is my fault doesn't mean I want the guys to blame me. As we got out of the car, Niall spoke. "Does this... do you think they might drop us?" We all were thinking the same thing but voicing it out loud just shocked us.

 "Niall, no!" Louis said. "How can you be so sure?! They're sending us on forced vacation or something, they can just tell us we're done!" He looked angry now. The only thing I wanted to do now was go inside. "Niall, just leave it, we can't do anything about it." I said. "Oh please Liam, this is all your little depressed arse's fault. We all had sacrifices to make. We've all been through a lot and yes it was hard, but couldn't you just suck it up for once and take one for the team? No, little Liam had to wallow in self-pity and look miserable and ruining the chance of a life time we worked so hard to get." I had nothing to say. I was speechless. Niall was always so happy and easygoing and nice and-. Maybe I should have seen this coming. My attitude was ruining it for everybody. Maybe it really all was to make the fans forget about us once and for all. I could feel the tears coming. I used to be the big brother to everyone of them. Telling them all was going to get better. Here I was like a big baby crying in front of them. I tried to force the tears back.

"I'm sorry." I said, barely above a whisper. The other four just stood there, not knowing what to say. Regret was painted all over Niall's face but if he said those words, I knew a part of him meant them. "No, Liam I am. I shouldn't have said this. I'm so sorry." Tears filled up his blue eyes. "No, no you're right. This is my fault. I've been so selfish. All because, becau-" I couldn't even finish my sentence as I started crying. Tears streamed down my face and I started hiccuping. I looked at Zayn. "Guys, I'm... I'm... I'-" "Liam, you don't have to explain yourself. We'll be here to listen when you're ready." he simply said. He opened the door, took my hand and led me inside, the boys following after us. 

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I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling. I really have no idea what I was about to tell them... well maybe I did. It was surreal. Even before Danielle broke up with me I've been struggling. Feeling confused. Helpless. Hopeless. The thought of it was so wrong. Me, Liam Payne, member of famous heartthrob band One Direction was gay. I didn't want to be. And my face is wet. I hadn't even realised I was crying. I touched my pillow to find out it was soaked with tears. And I was also sobbing. Since when did I become this cry baby. I had just discovered I was gay and I already hated it. I wonder if boys ever noticed how I stared at them. If I ever did it in front of Danielle. Well that would've been embarrassing. I was so sure I loved her, certain of my feelings but I guess you're never 100% sure about anything. I don't want to be gay. I screamed into my pillow. 

"Liam, are you alright?" I froze. I had woken up Zayn. I grabbed my cellphone off the bedside table and read 2:29. I turned to face the wall and nodded. "Don't lie to me Li." He called me Li, my emotions, can I die? I cleared my throat, "I'm not." I heard him get up and felt my bed shift. "Your pillow is soaked, have you been crying?" Having him being so caring towards me just made me feel worse. Right now he was helping me but as soon as he'll find out I know he'll hate me. He threw my pillow on the floor and took those that were on his bed. "Here." He pulled up the covers and pulled me into his arms. "Tell me what's wrong Liam." I broke down. I felt as if I was choking and couldn't inhale enough air. "Shh. You don't have to now. You can tell me when you're ready." I'll never be ready to tell you I'm in love with you. This realization hit me hard. On all the people on this planet, why did it have to be me? Me to fall in love with my best friend.

"The boys and I talked about our first destination. We thought it would be cool to go some place where we can just relax and have fun without the being crowded everywhere and stuff." "Where exactly is that?" I asked. Zayn shrugged. "Canada." I laughed. "Haha right, seriously where?" "Seriously, Canada. I know there aren't a lot famous places to go to and visit but that's exactly what they want. Visit some little nice places and stuff. Don't ask me why I don't get it either." I whined. "But Canada is boring. What do you think of it Z?" He chuckled. "A long as you're there it doesn't really matter. I'd follow you anywhere Li." My heart fluttered at that. This wasn't so bad. I felt myself growing tired. I could get used to falling asleep in his arms. "Goodnight Liam." 

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This chapter is weird isn't it? =/ Sorry for Niall being mean and the bad words. =X Do you guys still like it? I got cut in my inspiration because of some trouble but next chapter will be better I hope. :D Comment if you can it's nice to know if people like what I write. Also if you don't or have any ideas or suggestions or even want me to change something, send me a message or eave it in a comment! Much love and until next time! p.s. you can fan and vote you know... if you wanna. :) xx