Sherlock

Sherlock chapter 9

There were thousands of things I would rather be doing than sitting here.

Much like the Malibu ranch, Susan's new home was in whites and grays, a feminine touch evident. She had exceptional taste- much in contrast to mine. My style being 'early chaos'.

She was understandably a good deal cooler to me than when we last talked. My last words to her were ones of affirmation and praise. Recognizing the wonderful job she was doing as a mother. Words of good luck and good bye, as I would no longer be seeing her again.

Contracted to be her Board-Certified Lactation Counselor after the birth of Zachary, we had grown somewhat close during that time, enjoying a trusting and productive professional relationship.

I'd say our relationship today is not as good.

Susan was colder, harder. Less patient. Older and wiser. Jaded. She had a hardened expression, her face strained despite her pretty features.

Zachary had grown so much since that time; it felt so long ago. Chubby-cheeked and robust now, he did finally come to look like Robert, his distinctive mouth branding him as Downey's own.

He smiled at me. I decided to concentrate on his little face through all this.

         “Lets just get this all wrapped up, can we? I am pressed for time today, with too much needing done.” Susan, ever the organizer, the planner. She keeps things running like a well-oiled machine. I could see how Downey stayed with her for as long as he did. She was at one time his anchor.

We are all sitting in a circle, like in preschool. Downey, his attorney, Susan, her assistant and her attorney.  And myself.

He insisted I be there, to bear witness to this transition.

I feel like the fifth wheel that caused the flat, when the marriage didn't last until the wheels fell off.

Zachary sits on Susan's lap. He plays with a soft cell phone toy, and makes flirty eyes at me.

He is daddy's boy, I think. I decide to keep my eyes on him through all this.

Susan asks my permission if she can speak with me alone.

Terrified, I nod, because she deserves this. I wouldn't blame her if she tore me apart.

Biting his bottom lip, Downey stands and leans over me. He gives me a kiss to the crown of my head and leaves the room, looking at me as he walks away. Susan has no reaction to this that I can perceive.

I am confused by all of this quiet. This lack of conflict. Is this how messy break-ups are conducted in Hollywood, I wonder?

I know a great deal of financial assets are at stake. Perhaps that is the part of the puzzle that a poor person like myself, is missing. Self-preservation for both parties.

We sit in softly upholstered chairs, facing one another. We are two Malibu ladies, enjoying a chat session. Only thing is, our martinis are missing.

I think I could really use some gin and vermouth now. Or whiskey.

         “Thank you for speaking with me,” she begins, very polite. “I don't want this to become so uncomfortable that we can't be civil.” I am impressed with her grace.

        “I agree, although I feel like I'm interfering in your personal life.”

Susan takes a moment to gather her thoughts.

          “Now you are my personal life,” she truthfully stated.

I could say nothing.