Blackbird

†Chapter Two† (Edited)

Ahead of me, curled up in the cover of the ferns, lay a fawn; her mother somewhere close to her hidden child. It had always seemed strange to me how a doe could leave her child, coming from a culture where the pups are defended and guarded at all costs. Even though the young deer had its camouflage and dense underbrush to conceal herself from predators like myself, it was not adequate protection. We didn't need sight because we had smell and sound. From twenty feet away, I could smell her and I could hear her gentle breathing. Beside me, my father knelt, his hand on my shoulder. "You see the fawn?" he asked quietly. 

I gave a slight nod, my attention still mostly focused on the easy prey before me. I shuddered from the excitement, my instincts chatting loudly in the back of my wolf mind, telling me what to do. My mouth watered as I imagined the taste of fresh deer flesh on my tongue.

He gently patted me, jolting me out of my thoughts. "Come along, daughter. We will hunt elsewhere," he whispered, rising out of our cover and heading away from the fawn. 

I glanced over my shoulder, confused, as he walked away. Hunt elsewhere? But our prey was laying right there, attempting to hide from us. Her mother could be somewhere near and we could bring her down as well. Why would we leave?

As much as I didn't want to, I bounded away from the young animal to follow my father. Once I had caught up to him, I changed back to my human form. At first, I remained silent, not wanting to question his choices. My father was my superior, the Beta of the Featherpaw pack. Everything about him radiated his high rank, from his rugged looks to the pack symbol on the back of his jacket: a dream-catcher with a paw print in the center and two osprey feathers hanging from the catcher. However, my curiosity won the best of me. 

"Father, why didn't we kill the fawn?" I asked as we exited the forest into a large, open meadow with tall grass and some scattered wildflowers. We always came here to take a break from hunting, to figure out where to go next. It was mid-spring and the meadow was full of butterflies and honeybees, fluttering and buzzing around from plant to plant, doing their seasonal duties. This was my favorite time of year; during spring, the whole forest seemed to come to life.

We patted down the grass in the center of the meadow and plopped down among its warmth, soaking up the soft rays of the sun. I kept my eyes on the ground, fearing I'd made a mistake by questioning him. He let out a long sigh, tilting his head back. "We do not kill young animals or their mothers, my curious one. We let them grow, become as strong as possible, and then we take their lives so that we may go on living ours. If we paraded around, killing every fawn and doe we came across, we would eventually have nothing left to hunt except rabbits and squirrels. We would not grow strong and eventually fade away from existence," he explained. "Do you understand now?"

I nodded. "Yes, Father, I do," I replied gently. I glanced up at him to find him smiling at me, which sparked a smile of my own.

The fire crackled as the flames danced over the glowing wood, warming my face as I watched it, lost in my reverie. Night had fallen around Axel and me, the second night into our journey to the city of Revenport to locate the rebel pack that would supposedly help us. We were both silent as we ate the two rabbits I had managed to kill and cook; the scent of the wolfs-bane that hung from the surrounding trees put me off my appetite a bit, but I still ate to keep up my strength.  

"So what's your story?" I asked, breaking the silence. I was curious about his background and I wanted to understand the pain that lay hidden behind those green eyes, like a fawn hidden among ferns. It was hard to see, but I knew it was there.

He glanced at me over the fire. "What do you mean?"

"What happened to you when the soldiers came?"

He hesitated, pain flashing in his eyes like embers. For a moment, I thought it was just a trick of the flames, but his face mirrored his eyes. I understood that look; I wore it whenever I was forced to think of the day I lost everything. It was a painful subject for us all. "My wife, Sofia, was cooking dinner for us, Carlos, and his mate, Nisa, when we heard the screams. I told Sofia to take Nisa and hide somewhere. I knew something wasn't right, so I got up to go see what was going on. Then the door broke open and they came pouring into the house, stinking of wolfs-bane and silver. Carlos jumped in front of me, telling me to take the girls and run. Nisa refused to leave without him and as she ran to him, a soldier put his blade through her chest. Carlos went mad, shifting and attacking them, marring the face of one of the soldiers. Three soldiers put their blades through him, smiling like they enjoyed what they were doing, and then a few came after Sofia and me. We ran out the back of the house, but they were waiting for us.

"They took us to the village square and bound our hands behind our backs, facing each other. All around us, my pack was being slaughtered and the houses were all on fire, most of them with the families still inside... I still remember the screams. While I was telling Sofia that it was going to be okay, the general came up behind her and put a silver dagger to her throat. She looked me right in the eyes and I could see how scared she was, but there was nothing I could do. The general laughed as he slit her throat, while I watched her bleed out, only two feet away from me. The soldier with the marred face knelt down in front of me, putting his own dagger to my throat and asked me if I was ready to join her. The general, still laughing, told him to let me go; saying I probably wouldn't last long anyway, so they cut the ropes from my wrists and left. My entire pack, my wife, my home was destroyed and I was the only one left," he explained. Tears dripped steadily from his distant eyes as he relived the pain, which, I realized, was much worse than mine. Wolves mate for life, sharing the strongest bond that can only be broken by death; if one dies, the other spends the rest of his or her life detached from everyone else. They often become loners, unable to connect with anyone else.

I clenched my jaw, looking away from him. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "If I had known, I wouldn't have asked."

He wiped his tears from his face, looking down at his food. "Don't apologize. I suppose if we're going to do this, then we both need to understand the pain either of us feel."

I stared into the heart of the fire, no longer interested in trying to eat. I set my rabbit onto a rock to my left, folding my arms around my midsection and leaning forward to absorb more heat. We were both quiet for a long while before I decided to share my story as well. He was right; if we were going to do this together, we needed to understand. "I left early in the morning to search for something to hunt, but there weren't any deer in the usual places we hunted. I was gone for hours, but hadn't come across anything other than birds and rabbits. It was mid-afternoon when I noticed the clouds rolling in, so I decided to start heading back to the village. I was about two miles away when I smelled the smoke; I ran as fast as I could and when I finally reached the edge of the trees, it felt like I had walked right into a nightmare. Everyone was dead, our Alpha was gutted and strung up in the village square, and my family... my father, mother, and baby sisters were hung from the tree in our front yard," I explained. "I buried everyone in my pack, including my own family, before I left... I didn't want to leave them how they were. It didn't feel right and it doesn't feel right to stand by and do nothing while more innocent wolves are murdered."

I looked up, meeting his gaze, which seemed like I was still staring into the fire. His eyes burned with hatred, fury, and pain, just like mine. I supposed that every surviving wolf wore eyes like that, and that it was no longer our hearts that kept us going. "You're right; something needs to be done. Now get some rest so we can head out early. The faster we get to Revenport, the better," he said in an even voice. Something changed in his eyes as he spoke that I couldn't identify. I wanted to know what it was, but I decided that I should do as he said and rest. I wanted to get to the Revenport as soon as possible. 

With a long sigh, I shifted into my wolf form, curling into a ball, closing my eyes, and covering my nose with my tail. Though I was tired, I wasn't ready to sleep; I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for a few hours before sleep decided it was time to take me under her soft wing. My thoughts danced around, kissing new ideas like old friends, filling my mind with more questions.

Questions are like a disease of the mind, incurable and potent. They rage inside the deepest reaches of your subconscious, lurking in the darkness like sharks, waiting to rocket up from the depths and consume you. Comparable to cancer at times, with their ability sicken your sanity and ability to return just when you thought they had gone away. While they could be considered to be hindering my motives, they also fueled me. If I didn't have questions, I wouldn't have gotten this far.